Friday, December 13, is a dark dank day in Roanoke. I have to be careful as I go outside to retrieve my newspaper due to the thin layer of ice covering all surfaces due to the freezing rain falling from the predawn sky. I manage to make it down the driveway and back indoors without falling down with no greater harm than frozen hair and a sour disposition.

As I separate the various sections of the paper, my numb cold fingers are suddenly warmed as they hold the Sportsman’s Warehouse advertisement entitled Unforgettable CHRISTMAS. From Friday, Dec. 13 till Tuesday, Dec. 24 I can purchase a Daniel Defense DDM4V11 5.56 MM NATO assault rifle for the low price of $1299.99, a savings of $510. What a better way to celebrate the birth of the Prince of Peace than to hold one of these sleek beauties in your hands?

Imagine what the Lord Savior of Man could have done to those Roman soldiers if he had this Mil-Spec brown beauty with a 32+1 round capacity in his possession, no crown of thorns, and no cross for him. Those pagan Romans would have been nailed by the rate of fire from this wonderful assault weapon.

If you are concerned about noise from a rifle interrupting your Christmas carols, why Sportsman’s Warehouse will sell you a Springfield Armory XD-M 9mm, 19+1 capacity pistol with suppressor height iron sights for only $499.99. What other Christian nation allows 2nd Amendment loving God fearing Christians to celebrate this joyous season in an ALL-AMERICAN WAY?

Wait, we haven’t forgotten all you fashion conscious church ladies either. The Warehouse will sell you a SCCY CPX 2CB 9MM Pistol with a hot pink colored grip for $179.99. Remember folks, for that hard to buy for person on your Christmas list, visit Sportsman’s Warehouse to show your love for Christ.

ROBERT COOPER

ROANOKE

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