BLACKSBURG -- Moments after the April 16 shootings, Virginia Tech chaplains stood in the War Memorial Chapel, guarding a campus sanctuary where people could light a candle or say a prayer.

Soon, coifed evangelicals and television reporters roamed outside, thrusting pamphlets and microphones at people consumed by emotion.

"At times, I felt more like a bouncer than a chaplain because of all of the preying on people's vulnerabilities," said chapel coordinator the Rev. Kelly Sisson of Glade Church. "We want to keep it as a faith place."

Tech's chaplains have been immersed in spiritual triage since the rampage. Fueled by adrenaline and devotion, they're consoling people whose faith was rocked by the deadliest shooting spree in U.S. history. Some people have moved closer to God while others have quit believing altogether.

At the same time, the chaplains struggle with their own sorrow and spiritual doubt.

"Our grief is closer to the surface than it would normally be," said the Rev. Scott Russell of Christ Episcopal Church. All over campus "the lid is off, people tend to be angry, impatient. Everyone is a little more vulnerable and likely to react, or more on edge. Our old defense mechanisms have been ripped out of our hands, so we're readjusting."

The Rev. Jim Pace of New Life Christian Fellowship said students reeled from the deaths while cramming for exams and readying for graduation.

"It's a very weird fusion of realities," said Pace, describing the mood on campus. "It went from that, just the ragged and raw, to more just a sense of loss."

About 85 percent of Pace's 800-member fellowship is linked to the campus. Three, whom he declined to name, are dead. One person lost 10 friends. Another grieves for four.

"For me, it confirms what the Scriptures say and shows that evil is real," Pace said. "We just don't get a bye from the violence of the world because we happen to live in Southwest Virginia. There are some people that weren't thinking about God beforehand and they aren't now. For others, it is drawing them closer to God."

Student Ryan Clark is absent from a class on science and theology taught by Mike Ellerbrock, a Catholic deacon and Tech faculty member. For each remaining day in the semester, he placed a Hokie hat on Clark's chair. Ellerbrock also co-officiated at the funeral of Kevin Granata, an engineering professor.

"My concern is for the 33 families and the 26,000 students and all the faculty who will never again walk into a classroom without having to look around. That is a rip-off," Ellerbrock said. "This is a grieving place right now, but that doesn't mean that there is a lack of faith."

The Rev. Bill King said he turns to Scripture and theological writings for comfort as he and others puzzle about how a loving God could allow this tragedy.

"The Psalmists are bold to say 'I'm getting clobbered down here and where are you God?' The Scripture is brutally honest," King said. "All too often we want God to be the fixer. But it is more complex. God is powerful and his power is revealed in his willingness to be with us in the midst of suffering."

King said he watches emotions unfold as about 19 regulars meet in his weekly fellowship. Uncensored, some people weep while others yell angrily.

"In the Book of Job, it says his comforters sat with him in silence for six days," King said. "I think you resist the temptation to try and tie up the loose ends and you just let them be where they are. I ask, 'What are you needing now? What is the struggle that you're wrestling with?' "

The Rev. Bonny Dillon was one of four chaplains from the American Red Cross' Spiritual Care Response Team. They arrived on campus just hours after the shootings. She has held two sessions where about 20 ordained pastors affiliated with Tech could candidly speak about their struggles.

Compassion fatigue is a real danger for chaplains working nonstop, she said.

"There is a spiritual distress that is related to people who have experienced tragedy," she said. "What helps are talking to your colleagues, access to spiritual renewal and self care. Ask for the relief you need, so someone else can step in and preach for you and step in on Sundays."

Sisson said she is caring for herself, in part, by not setting an alarm clock, going to the gym and taking breaks. She has seen a clinical supervisor from the American Association of Pastoral Care and she is drawing on her training as a trauma chaplain in a New Orleans hospital.

Russell, the associate rector at Christ Episcopal, found his emotions drained after an 81-year-old congregant suffered a fatal stroke.

"I'm experiencing her death a little differently because of the overwhelming loss," Russell said. "It is a sense of how much more can we take?"

He said the national Episcopal church has paid for his counseling, which he is going to more frequently. The sessions help him release emotions that he doesn't feel free to share with students and lay people, he said.

"A lot of grace has been shown, from on high and also between ourselves," Russell said. "We've really given ourselves permission to feel whatever we're feeling, whether it is anger or sorrow or denial. All the stages of grief -- and sometimes all at once."

Several chaplains said they wished the students could remain for another month or so. They fear they'll crumple in midsummer when the shock has worn off. They're reaching out to students on the Internet and telephones and relying on their families, communities and home churches.

"We have students who are graduating without a chance to work with the community that has experienced the losses," Sisson said. "They need the flesh-and-blood contact."

Pace said the toll hits freshmen differently than upperclassmen.

"For seniors, some of their frustration is that it has stolen what should be a happy time," Pace said. "This should be a time of brunches and balloons, and none of that feels just right."

Ellerbrock said the healing will come.

"The campus got invaded by the media and the campus got invaded by a lot of well-meaning ministers. ... But some of them were intrusive, telling people like myself, 'You need Jesus -- you need to smile and be happy because you have Jesus.'

"Well, the first thing Jesus did when his dear friend Lazarus died was he wept. Jesus cried. The time for joy and resurrection, it'll come, but not now."