Thursday, December 22, 2005
A funny, stinky ride
Randy King
Randy King's Tech Insider is exclusive to roanoke.com and is posted by 5 p.m. Thursdays in season.
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How tough will it be for Virginia Tech tackle Jimmy Martin to block Louisville All-American defensive end Elvis Dumervil in the Jan. 2 Gator Bowl?
As challenging as that assignment may be, it can't be much worse than Martin's task come Monday and Tuesday. Shoot, dancing with a guy named Elvis might even be fun when compared to a 700-mile ride from Northern Virginia to Jacksonville, Fla., with a guy known as "Big Stinky."
"Yeah, that would be a terrible ride," said Tech linebacker Vince Hall, when told that Martin will be car-pooling to the bowl game with fellow offensive linemen Brandon "Big Stinky" Gore and resident comedian Danny McGrath.
"Big Stinky...forget about that ride. And Danny will make the whole trip just funny. It will be a funny, stinky ride. It'll be terrible, man!"
With a bunch of stops along the way, too. I mean how many Dairy Queens can a vehicle lugging three O-linemen who tip the Toledos at a combined 958 pounds actually pass without stopping?
"And think about what they're going to order when they get there," noted Hall, shaking his head. "It's going to be so much stuff they're going to get ... they'll get it all.
"Oh, man...it's going to be a long, stinky ride, I'm telling you... Burping...there are going to be all kinds of funny noises going on in that ride, man."
At 6 feet 5, 360 pounds, Gore is the biggest player on the Hokies' squad. A long Mohawk haircut makes the big fellow look even nastier. He won't be playing in the game, however, as he continues to rehabilitate from a fractured ankle he sustained in the Nov. 26 regular-season finale against North Carolina.
Martin said it's up to McGrath and himself to make certain that Gore doesn't eat too much on the trip.
"We're going to make sure and watch his weight for him," Martin said. "He's actually lost a little weight since his surgery. But he's going home [today], and I'm sure his parents and grandparents are going to feed him well.
"Gore told me a story one time that his grandma told him. He said he went home one time at 320 and his grandma was like, 'Oh, my God, Brandon, you're starving! You need to put some weight on. You look like skin and bones.'
"And he's like, 'Grandma, I'm like 320!"
While they're sure to enjoy a sub somewhere on the way south, the three O-linemen won't be traveling in a sub-compact vehicle, thankfully.
"Yeah, we've got a tractor trailer...we've got an 18-wheeler we're going down in," said Martin, laughing.
Actually, the plan is take Gore's Tahoe. In case you've never seen one of those, they're almost as big as Lake Tahoe.
"Can't drive mine," Martin said, shaking his head. "I crashed my car the other day...that was great."
Pulling some legs
When the subject of bowl game gift bags for players came up, I simply couldn't resist having a little fun after hearing Martin and Hall talk a like of pair of anxious youngsters on Christmas Eve.
"Yeah, they're different from bowl to bowl," said Martin of the bowl goody bags. "I remember last year at the Sugar Bowl we got a DVD player and that was pretty nice.
"I don't know what we're going to get this this year, but hopefully there's something good in there. People have started saying those Xbox 360 things...now that would be nice."
Added Hall: "Yeah, Xbox 360, that's what I want!"
Just to push the two players' buttons, I playfully misinformed each that the only bowl giving out Xbox 360s was the Orange Bowl, which, of course, is where Tech would be heading if it hadn't lost to Florida State in the ACC Championship game Dec. 3.
"Really?" said Martin with an incredulous look on his face. "What? C'mon! Jeez!"
And Hall?
"No, they're not...don't tell me that...man!"
Feeling their pain, I finally conceded I was just joking.
Besides, what game is going to be able to come up with 250 Xbox 360s (each bowl must provide 125 gift packages per team)? I mean I just read in our paper where 30 folks camped out all night a few days ago at a Roanoke store to get their hands on one of the things.
Well, I was wrong. I never knew it, but I forgot the Alamo. The San Antonio-based bowl is handing out the cherished 360s to Michigan and Nebraska, a gift that certainly will brighten the season for many of the Wolverines and Cornhuskers.
In Jacksonville, the Hokies and Cardinals will find Toyota Gator Bowl rings, a commemorative watch and baseball cap, and a duffel bag in their gift packages. For comparison's sake, the Orange Bowl will be handing out a bag including a Sony PSP, Madden NFL 2006 and NBA Live 2006, Ogio duffel bag, a commemorative hat and team plaque, and a "Friday Night Lights" video.
Start packing early
Is there another bowl game that requires as many clothes to pack for than the Gator Bowl?
One thing I've learned from past Gator experiences is that you never know what you're going to get weather-wise in Jacksonville at this time of year. If you get temperatures in the 70s, you need your golf shirts and shorts. Dip into the 60s and 50s, and it's add on a sweater and long pants. Throw in a couple of heavy coats, too, since you can also count on some nights in the 30s and 40s. Just for safety's sake, I'm throwing a windshield scraper into my rental car, too.
Should be a good game, though. I think Louisville pushes Tech to the wire before the Hokies win a close one on a Brandon Pace field goal.
I'm out of here. Got to go shopping. Merry Christmas, folks!
