COLLEGE PARK, Md. - Dear Pete,

Look. I'm not sure how to tell you this gently, so I'll just spill it. I'm outta here. I can't take this any more. It's a matter of priorities. I've got too much other stuff to do rather than hang around your Virginia men's basketball team. All those "American Idol" contestants need me. And pitchers and catchers report in about a month. That's 30 teams I've got to mingle with, at least until mid-April.

You almost had me back, Coach. You were up seven points at Maryland in the second half Wednesday night, and I started to creep down toward the floor, just a little bit curious.

But then I stopped and watched a little more. All those turnovers! All those blocked shots! And the 23 percent shooting in the half!

Then you lost the game, your fifth in the conference without a win.

That's when you lost me for good.

Trust me, Pete. I know what you're going through. I've been abandoned before. A lot of UVa fans were reaching out to me earlier this season, and I clung to them through your win against 10th-ranked Arizona and your rout of Richmond. But I'm a fickle emotion. When Miami came into your building and won by 11, well, I knew we had problems.

I don't hear from UVa hoops fans much anymore, and I fear that's bad news for your job. See, the university's building a new arena. Administrators need donor money to do that, and I can help them get it. And you know what? If they replaced you with a new coach, I'd have no choice but to come back. It's kinda what I do.

I'll be honest with you, Pete. I've stuck with you longer than I would most guys. I like you. You've got energy. You're passionate. You had a pretty good track record. And I truly believe you're a good man, the type who could make me laugh at a party or would jump-start my car if I got stranded on I-66.

But I can't change who I am. Some say I float. Others say I spring eternal. I'm not sure about that, but I do know this: Without performance, I fade.

I think we can both agree the performance has been lacking. You've lost all five of your ACC games by double-digits. Meanwhile, as I hung out with you, the team down in Blacksburg picked up two conference wins. Florida State upset Wake Forest. Heck, Miami won three league games.

I wasn't going to tell you this, but I stopped by your news conference Wednesday night. You looked pretty frazzled, even more than usual. Somebody asked you about center Elton Brown.

"He's tough to guard," you said. "He had a good game tonight..."

Then somebody pointed out that he shot 4-of-18 from the floor.

You looked surprised.

"Yeah, that's not good," you said. "I didn't know he shot that poorly. He's got to shoot better than that. I didn't realize it was that bad, to be honest with you."

It's that bad, Pete. All of it. Sorry.

Here's what I'll do before I go: I'll put you in touch a buddy of mine: Luck. I think you could use him. I mean, sheesh, losing a co-captain to academics right before the Maryland game? You deserve better when your neck's on the line.

And whatever happens to you, I hope you and Luck can stay tight.

Well, I've got to run. There's a woman in Illinois who wants to name her daughter after me, so I'd better not be late.

When I get back, I think I'll probably stop by Cassell Coliseum. I didn't figure I'd have much use for that place this year, but I heard there was a lot of noise there Wednesday night when Virginia Tech upset N.C. State. Noise, I like.

Don't feel bad. It's not personal. And you're not the only one. After all, the Los Angeles Clippers haven't seen me in years.

Formerly yours,

Hope