Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Shameless, gratuitous quest for smack
Aaron McFarling
Recent columns
BLACKSBURG -- I came to Blacksburg Tuesday with a notebook, a tape recorder and not a lick of tact.
This was by design. I wanted it to be clear that there would be no tricks. There would be no subtlety. There would be no question what I was looking for as the clock ticked down on the biggest Virginia Tech-UVa game in history.
"True or false," I said to Tech quarterback Sean Glennon. "UVa is a bunch of Zima-drinkin' wussies."
Glennon stared at me.
"No comment," he said.
"So," I said, "the record should show that you did not say false?"
"I'll say false," he said, "just so I don't give them any bulletin board material."
Moving on...
See, this week is about a lot of things. Most important is the big-game analysis, the actual football stuff, every last bit of which will be broken down in these pages by Saturday. But this week is also about bragging rights. It's about pride.
And for lowlife columnists like me, it's about trying to squeeze some trash talk out of media-savvy players.
"How much do you hate UVa?" I asked Tech defensive lineman Orion Martin.
Martin laughed a big, hearty laugh. This was bad. He just looked so darn ... friendly.
"They don't like us and we don't like them," Martin said. "But it's just another team. I don't HATE 'em hate 'em."
Moving on...
Somehow, this works everywhere else. A couple of weeks ago, a reporter got Michigan running back Mike Hart to call Michigan State the Wolverines' "little brother."
Irrational personal attacks work just fine, too. After Tech's 48-0 victory over UVa in 1983, Cavaliers linebacker Charles McDaniel famously said: "I doubt Bruce Smith can even spell his name."
And somewhere along the way, a reporter got former Tech quarterback Cam Young to unleash this gem about UVa:
"I never root for them," said Young, the QB in 1988-89. "I don't care who they're playing. They could be playing Iraq and I would root for Iraq."
Now THAT's good stuff. Stuff I ought to be getting.
Maybe I just needed to rephrase the question.
"Is it accurate to say they're a bunch of Zima-drinkin' wussies?" I asked Tech linebacker Cam Martin.
"I'm not going to give them any bulletin board material," he said. "I mean, they..."
"What do they drink, then?"
"I don't even know."
Moving on...
It must just be me, right? Players around the nation haven't swarn off trash talk. For example, here is what a reporter got Florida State linebacker Geno Hayes to say about Florida's best player this week: "Tim Tebow's going down."
And here is what I got Tech lineman Ryan Shuman to say about UVa's best player, Chris Long: "He's a good guy, and he's a [bleepin'] good player."
I really stink at this.
But I decided not to move on this time. Shuman looked like he might play the game. He was upbeat and accommodating and he'd already engaged in casual swearing. There was a chance here.
"How much do you hate them?" I asked.
"I wouldn't say hate," he said. "Obviously, we dislike them. Obviously, it's a little different attitude up there than it is down there, and I think everybody knows that. So we're going to go up there and, you know, battle."
Another reporter smelled blood and chimed in. Finally, a double team!
"That's very diplomatic," the other reporter said. "What exactly does that mean?"
"A little different, you know?" Shuman said. "Obviously there's a little bit different attitude, a little bit different culture up there than there is down here. Little more relaxed down here. A little bit more formal [up there.]"
Zima-drinkin' wussies?
"I wouldn't say that," Shuman said, smiling. "I would say different attitude up there."
Sigh. Maybe next year.
