Long-distance romance ends in long-standing marriage

BOB AND CAROLYN COFFMAN

Years married: 53; wed on April 21, 1954

Home: Moneta

Background: Both raised in Botetourt County. He retired from Applachian Power Co., in 1990; she retired from Blue Cross Blue Shield in 1988. They became full-time lake residents in 2000.

How they met:

"I used to say I got Bob out of the Sears, Roebuck catalog," she said. "Really, I was working at Sears, Roebuck in Roanoke where Bob's brother worked. Bob was in the Air Force, and Russell wanted us to meet."

"I guess he felt like we should get to know each other or were right for each other," he said.

"He came in on leave, but we didn't get to meet that day," she said. "They had moved me to a different department for the day. Then we started corresponding. That was November 1952."

The courtship:

"We started corresponding soon after you were in Roanoke in November," she said. "Then we actually met and saw each other in 1953 when you were on leave again at a family picnic with your family on Craig's Creek."

"We corresponded, long-distance letters, early 1953 to spring 1954," he said. "I still have them."

"You were just the type of person that was easy to get to know and talk with," she said.

"I was still in the service and we didn't really have together time," he said. "I guess we were impressed with what we said in our letters. There was a lot of anticipation, I think, on both our parts."

The proposal:

"I guess I asked your dad," he said.

"No, I think you asked me," she said. "I think we had been to a movie or something and on the way back home, you proposed."

"You were taking a leap of faith," he said. "I'm certainly glad you did."

Their secret:

"Lots of hugs and kisses and thank yous," he said. "And mutual respect. Sharing and doing and helping with things that need to be done."

"He helps with the housework and I help with the yardwork," she said.

"Certainly, if they can become affiliated with a church family, I think that's a strength to a marriage," he said. "Knowing a circle of married friends who are supportive. And being thankful to God for all he's blessed us with."

"The respect for each other and the kindness you show each other," she said. "The things that you do for each other."

"I don't think I started as early on those things as I should have," he said.

"I think you did," she said.

"Be thoughtful of the partner, spouse and so forth," he said. "If the differences of opinion are anything, be willing to be flexible."

"Have patience," she said. "Be patient and everything will work out."

Overalls and a red Corvette lit the fire for Hardy couple

TODD AND JACLYN KEITH

Years married: 1; wed on June 24, 2006

Home: Hardy

Background: He's lived at the lake since 1999. He owns Core Fishing Tackle and runs The Shad Taxi, a striper guide service. She's lived at the lake since 2000 and is a kindergarten teacher at Stewartsville Elementary School. Their daughter, Emma Grace, was born Jan. 2.

How they met:

"A mutual friend of ours, Bart Kooshian, he had tried to get us hooked up," he said. "But it never worked out with our schedules, and then [Jaclyn] moved right under me."

"I was looking around for a place to buy a condo and I was at The Waterfront," she said. "While I was there looking, he pulled into the parking lot."

"I'm a real simple guy and she was wearing overalls," he said. "And I love overalls."

"My first impression was really good," she said. "The first day I met him, he had just got back from church. He was wearing a nice suit and he pulled up in a red Corvette convertible. ... We got to talking and I asked him how he liked living there."

"It was directly beneath my condo," he said. "We shared a ceiling and floor."

"Our friend, Bart, was there, looking at the condos with me," she said. "He was inside looking at the condo. He came down and I was talking to him [Todd]. He said, 'This is the guy I've been wanting you to meet.' 'This is the girl I've been wanting you to meet.' We kinda owe it to him."

The courtship:

"We dated for five years," he said.

"Our first date, we went fishing around dark," she said. "We packed a dinner and fished most of the evening."

"We were living a really nice life," he said.

"We took a lot of trips," she said. "We'd go to Snowshoe, the Bahamas, Vegas, the beach."

The proposal:

"There wasn't a whole lot to it," he said. "I took her to The Pointe Restaurant at Mariners Landing."

"It was Nov. 18," she said. "I thought it would be on Christmas. He was laughing all through dinner, and I got a little upset with him. He was very out of character. I thought he was laughing at me."

"I did it after the meal, before dessert," he said. "It wasn't anything extravagant"

"No, it was simple," she said. "Like us."

Their secret:

"Friendship," she said.

"Yeah, being friends first," he said.

"Get to know the person," she said. "Take time to develop your relationship. Don't rush into it."

"Take time to get to know who you're marrying," he said.

"Communication," she said. "We took a lot of time to do stuff that each other were interested in. And take time for each other."

Tough times can strengthen relationship, couple says

FRED AND BEV WADDELL

Years married: 26; wed on July 25, 1981

Home: Moneta

Background: He has two children from a previous marriage. They moved to the lake in 2000. They're semi-retired, teaching seminars together on occasion.

How they met:

"We were both teaching at a little college in Wisconsin, the University of Wisconsin-Stout," he said. "I was teaching family planning and money mangement."

"I was teaching retail/sales managment," she said.

"I was finshing my dissertation," he said.

"I was finishing my masters in counseling," she said.

"When she first saw me, I had my leg in a cast," he said. "I broke my foot skydiving."

"I should have known I was in trouble," she said.

"She should have known it would never be normal," he said.

The courtship:

"One of the first dates we had, we went down Wisconsin's Wolf River," he said. "She had never been white-water rafting. ... We went over the waterfall and our gear flew out in all directions."

"And I flew in another direction," she said. "On another date, we went on a 15-mile hike and I had brand new hiking boots."

"I had just finished this course on orienteering in the woods, and I was showing off my new skills," he said. "We got terribly lost. She had blisters all over her feet. ... A lot of the things we did before we got married were misadventures."

"But I still married him," she said.

The proposal:

"It wasn't any monumental thing with drums," he said. "The proposal just sort of evolved. ... I was 45 and she was 35. At 45 and 35, it was just sort of a natural thing."

Their secret:

"I think we are kindred spirits," he said. "I do believe God intended us to be together."

"Yes," she said. "We're soul mates.

"I think the church strengthens a couple," he said. "We have a lot of kindred spirits there."

"And although it doesn't seem to be a word that gets used much these days -- compromise," she said.

"One of the things for a happy marriage is having a broad range of activities," he said. "Some people think they need to do everything together."

"We don't," she said.

"We have different activities," he said. "I think Beverly is more sociable. I tend to be more of a loner. I like to read. I like the quiet time, the down time."

"I think it makes us more interesting people to be with each other to be going out and meeting other people," she said.

"I think that when a couple has been married for some time, they've survived disappointments, tragedy and sorrow," he said. "The rough things you endure together strengthen a relationship."

Friendship, separate interests help keep the peace

TOM ZIRKELBACH AND DAWN SPENCER

Years married: 31; wed on Oct. 9, 1976

Home: Huddleston

Background: Moved to the lake in 2002. They co-own LoveStone Inn, a bed-and-breakfast, and are the parents of two grown sons.

How they met:

"We were backpacking in Europe," she said. "He was in the Navy at the time, and I was going to Germany to meet my college boyfriend. We met at the Frankfurt train station, and somebody I had met on the train introduced me to Tom."

"I thought she was independent and I liked that," he said. "She was traveling through Europe by herself. There were a lot of things we could talk about because I'm from the North and she's from the South."

"He had a thick red beard," she said. "My first impression was that he was cute. My next impression after he started talking was that he was interesting. And he had nice, beautiful green eyes and dimples. I love his dimples."

"It was 1973," he said. "We weren't hiking. We were using the train system. I had a little book and I would typically write down people's addresses."

"I kept a diary," she said. "I would write down the addresses of everyone I met that day. I made a practice every night at least 20 minutes of journaling. I had a long layover. We exchanged addresses when we met and then we went our separate ways backpacking."

The courtship:

"Tom sent me a Christmas card when he came back to the states," she said. "I was in Atlanta and he was in Chicago."

"I sent cards to everyone I met in Europe," he said.

"He was traveling with another guy so he always accused me that I wasn't sure if it was the redhead or the blond," she said. "But I had it in my journal. I went back and looked him up."

"We corresponded for about a year," he said.

"We had a long-distance relationship," she said. "We spent a lot of money on airfare and phone bills. I said if this is going to work, we have to get closer together. I moved to Chicago in January 1976."

The proposal:

"We were on top of a mountain in Illinois, which is hard to find because it's flat," she said. "He asked if I would make it permanent and I said yes."

Their secret:

"With marriage and children, the same thing applies: you have to pick your battles," she said.

"Not everything can be a battle," he said.

"Also, having a clear-cut division of responsibilities," she said. "I think it makes for better harmony. There's also a responsibility to communicate. It needs to be a 50-50 effort, and it is an effort to keep the communication line open."

"I think you should marry a friend," he said. "If you're talking about marriage for the long haul, you need someone who's your friend and you're their friend."

"It helps to have individual interests," she said. "I'm interested in antiquing and decorating; he's interested in fishing. I think you have to have some passions that you have together and some things you like to do separately."