Saturday, November 24, 2001
London twins are falling down
Out Cold

The mind-bogglingly stupid "Out Cold" could be the end of the line for once-promising actor Jason London, whose brother Jeremy isn't faring any better.

By BETH JONES
THE ROANOKE TIMES

   "Out Cold" is an astonishingly stupid movie. It's so stupid, it's supposed to make us laugh. But it's not funny stupid. It's just stupid.

    I could tell from the trailers it would be stupid. But, the truth is, I would have gone to see "Out Cold" even if I hadn't had to review it.

    I love the London twins.

    By the mid-1990s, Jeremy and Jason London were household names - especially if the household contained at least one female under the age of 18.

    Jason London made his mark in critically praised films like "The Man in the Moon" and "Dazed and Confused." Jeremy London earned raves for his role in the highly acclaimed TV series "I'll Fly Away."

    They could act. They were cheese-grillingly gorgeous. Best of all, there were two of them.

    As the boys approach 30, their looks are holding up just fine. But despite their promising beginnings, they're nearing the end of their acting careers.

    Jeremy London recently starred in a television movie with Tom Arnold - the very poster child of has-beens. Now we find Jason London in "Out Cold."

    Jason plays Rick, a fun-loving snowboarder who parties with a gang of friends in an Alaskan ski town called Bull Mountain where there are more locals than tourists. You couldn't buy a caramel espresso on Bull Mountain if you tried.

    All that's about to change now that big-time developer John Majors (Lee Majors) plans to transform the mountain into yuppie heaven.

    In a way, "Out Cold" is the classic tale of natives verses slick, city folk. Or it would have been if it weren't so stupid.

    Instead of a story with a beginning, middle and end, "Out Cold" is a series of loosely connected (and usually vulgar) skits. One fantasy sequence has a passel of well-endowed, bikini-clad women trapped in a ski-lift who, in order to reach safety, must take off their tops. Then there's Majors' well-endowed Swedish stepdaughter, who enjoys riding a mechanical bull and has sex with a man known as Pigpen in order to stick it to her father.

    "Out Cold" might be fun for a snowboarding enthusiast. Or someone who enjoys watching bloopers footage on ESPN. Most everyone else, though - especially fans of the London brothers - will find little to like with this stupid, stupid movie.

    Out Cold

    A Touchstone Pictures and Spyglass Entertainment release showing at Carmike 10 at Tanglewood Mall, Salem Valley 8 and Valley View Grande 16. Rated PG-13 for language, crude humor and scenes of drug and alcohol use. One hour, 30 minutes.

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