By BETH JONES
THE ROANOKE TIMES

Archives Reprint

   This movie should have been called "Mr. Smith Goes to Hollywood."

    The cool thing about "Clerks," "Chasing Amy" and even the perpetually panned "Mallrats" was that the characters seemed ordinary, just like you and me - only funnier.

    In his newest film, writer/director Kevin Smith turns his back on everyday life. "Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back" is 90 minutes of insider studio jokes: wisecracks about Miramax, overrated celebrities and money-loving directors. The result is a film that's dull as dirt.

    It's also downright dirty. You know you're in trouble when Chris Rock plays a movie's least offensive character.

    Jay and Silent Bob (who show up in each of Smith's earlier four films) are quite possibly the best couple ever created for the big screen. They're right behind Kermit and Miss Piggy and Scarlett and Rhett.

    Smith describes his pair as "hetero life partners." Jay Phat Buds (Jason Mewes) is a perpetually babbling pothead with a foul mouth. His buddy Silent Bob (played by Smith) is decidedly less animated. The two spend their days dealing drugs in front of a convenience store in New Jersey.

    In each of Smith's films, the pair have taken on increasingly larger roles. That's unfortunate because, like a "Saturday Night Live" skit, the magic of Jay and Silent Bob works only in small doses.

    As the title implies, Smith's latest film casts the pair in starring roles. From the beginning, it's clear this won't work. How can Silent Bob carry a movie when his character doesn't talk?

    He mimes! It's almost too painful to watch.

    Here's the plot (such as it is): Jay and Silent Bob learn a movie is in the works based on the "Bluntman and Chronic" comic, which is based on Jay and Silent Bob. Next, they find a movie Web site where hapless computer geeks are posting slams against Jay and Silent Bob. They begin to worry that this will hurt their chances with women, so they go to Hollywood to stop the movie from being made.

    Along the way, Jay falls in love with a jewel thief named Justice (Shannon Elizabeth) and steals an orangutan to win her love.

    "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" includes homages to "Animal House," "The Fugitive" and "Star Wars." In one scene, Jay has a "Planet of the Apes" type vision about a future in which monkeys rule the world. Here he delivers the film's only poignant line:

    "In this world gone mad, we won't spank the monkey. The monkey will spank us."

    All of Smith's regulars show up for this film, including Jason Lee, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Lots of other celebrities make an appearance as well, including Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher and director Gus Van Sant. Too bad Smith didn't give them something to do.

    To be fair, the film's pace picks up toward the end when Hamill engages Jay and Silent Bob in a laser fight. But the film's final scene with a performance by Morris Day and the Time is a complete disaster.

    With "Dogma," Smith's last film, audiences had to deal with a demon made up of human waste, but at least there were some insightful points about religion and politics. In "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back," Smith doesn't have anything to say about anything. He's just satisfying his own severely immature funny bone.

    Let's hope the studios shut the gate on this ego gone wild.

    Beth Jones can be reached

   at 777-6493 or bethj@roanoke.com.

    Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

    A Dimension Films release showing at Carmike 10 at Tanglewood Mall, Salem Valley 8, Valley View Grande 16 and the Grandin Theatre. Rated R for drug use, strong language, crude sexual humor and general grossness. 99 minutes.

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