Seeking forgiveness is one of the most painful pursuits in modern society, and genuinely bestowing it is among the most difficult challenges in human relationships. Absolution is a treasure that absorbs many church leaders.

"In my well over 20 years in pastoral ministry, when people come to talk with me, forgiveness is almost always a factor," said the Rev. George Anderson, pastor of Second Presbyterian Church in Roanoke. "Whether it's about forgiveness for themselves or other people, reconciliation is a common need."

On Sunday, Anderson will welcome a guest speaker and author on forgiveness, Gregory Jones, dean of the Duke University Divinity School. Jones will take the pulpit for two Sunday morning services and lecture on Sunday and Monday nights.

"There's so much brokenness in the world, and so much pain. The forgiveness issue keeps coming up wherever I travel: the Middle East, Ireland and Rwanda," Jones said.

One public apology made national headlines earlier this week when Eliot Spitzer resigned as governor of New York over his reported involvement with a prostitute.

As is typical of such high-profile figures, his effort to atone addressed millions of people he had never even met -- in particular, the people of New York. He made a point of saying he isn't sure he can ever fully forgive himself: "The remorse I feel will always be with me."

No wonder that advice about forgiveness is so widely sought. Jones' 1995 book, "Embodying Forgiveness," is in its sixth printing and "selling well," according to Noel Pederson, spokeswoman for Eerdmans Publishing Co. in Grand Rapids, Mich. "Forgiveness is just one of those topics that stays important over time." She added that retailers tell her people keep coming in and asking for Jones' book. It's especially popular in seminaries, she said.

To be sure, forgiveness isn't limited to the religious world. Robert Enright, professor of human development at the University of Wisconsin, runs a nonprofit research and consulting organization called the Forgiveness Institute. He said that asking forgiveness is hardest when we really mean it.

"Because it takes humility; I must tell you I am wrong. And then even more humility; as the person waits for others to get over their anger and consider the option of forgiving."

Granting personal amnesty can be tough too, Anderson said. "Forgiveness is something all Christians agree to in theory. But if someone's spouse is cheating on them, or terrorists fly planes into the World Trade Center, what then?"

A common myth about forgiveness is that time heals all wounds. That's true only in some cases, Anderson said.

"If your father abused you, and he's dead, that complicates forgiveness. Or you may be trying to forgive someone who doesn't want it. Unfortunately, it's not as easy as 'forgive and forget.' ''

The worst mistake someone seeking forgiveness can make, Jones said, "is to trivialize -- to think that all we need to do is say something and it's done."