Sunday, July 29, 2007
State wants to know if you might be a dad
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Shanna Flowers is The Roanoke Times' metro columnist.
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Virginia's new who's-ya-daddy law is a jaw-dropper.
The state Department of Social Services wants any man who is not married to a woman but could be the father of a child with her to voluntarily fill out a one-page registration.
The law, which went into effect July 1, is designed to protect men's rights in the case of a future adoption.
State officials emphasized that the confidential database is not an attempt to track sexual activity or partners. But it suggests men register "after relations with new partners or continued relations with the same woman."
Nothing against men, but do Virginia officials really expect them to fill out such a form and mail it off to Richmond?
Mowed the lawn. Check.
Changed the oil. Check.
Notified the state that my girl and I are having relations. Check.
Come on.
Never mind that fornication -- sex between unmarried adults -- is a misdemeanor in Virginia. So I guess by asking men to register, the state is also asking them to cop to a crime -- rarely enforced, but nonetheless, a crime.
But you know me. Not one to reach hasty conclusions, I took the matter of the registry to that bastion of male bonding and Everyman philosophizing -- where else? -- the barbershop.
"Wow," Anthony Preston, 32, of Roanoke murmured as he read an article about the law.
Lawmakers passed the law creating the voluntary registry as a way to protect a man's rights and allow the state to notify him more quickly if a child he may have fathered is placed up for adoption.
"Mmmm," grunted an unnamed gentleman in barber Dyon Williams' chair. He guttural reaction reverberated with skepticism.
DSS officials said registering means the state doesn't have to search high and low for the biological father, allowing an adoption to speed along. It also gives papa a chance to block the adoption if he wants to raise the child.
A father can register before a child is born, even if he is not aware of a pregnancy. Also the state suggests registering within 10 days of the birth, of receiving notice to register or within 10 days of discovering fraud by the mother.
If fathers don't file the paperwork, they give up their right for the state to inform them about a possible adoption or if they've lost their parental rights.
Preston is single and the father of an 11-year-old daughter. He took a few moments to compose his thoughts. Then, the debate was on.
"Really, instead of registering you should be trying to repent," the minister and real estate entrepreneur said with a preacher's conviction.
"Then get an HIV test," he stressed.
Can't argue with the man there.
Preston said he could see some merit in the law.
"If I got a little kid out here, I want to know," he said.
The stoic and media-shy man in the chair weighed in again.
"Sounds like a Catch-22," he deadpanned.
He liked the idea of protecting fathers' rights. But he also saw potential for a woman to come back later and try to claim child support from someone who might not be her child's father.
The registration doesn't establish paternity, which is a separate process. But DSS officials confirmed that the state's child support enforcement office will have access to the registry.
"I ain't mad at them because they're trying to hold the man accountable," Preston said of the registry's possible aid in tracking down deadbeat dads. "I ain't got no mercy on these boys who don't take care of their kids."
Me, neither, brother.
Preston also had concerns with the law. He worried about its kiss-and-tell potential. Will a woman be notified that her name is on the registry? What about public access? Can anybody see who has slept with whom? What is the process? All are excellent questions.
To register, men are asked to fill out a form they can get at their local DSS office or online at www.vaputativefather.com. The hotline number is (877) IF-DADDY.
The form asks for the name of the mother and potential father along with his Social Security number and employment information, and it contains questions that try to pinpoint where and when the man and woman may have conceived the child.
The state requires the men to sign the form and mail it to Richmond, said Carla Harris, a DSS spokeswoman. Registration is free.
If the form contains the address of the woman, she will be notified. On one hand, I understand that. On the other, the opportunity for mischief makes me uncomfortable. Harris stressed, though, that anyone who lies on the document can be prosecuted for filing a fraudulent report.
State officials said the public does not have access to the registry. The information also is not available through the Freedom of Information Act, Harris said.
However, a number of parties -- including the mother, lawyers involved in adoptions and parental right cases as well as court employees and other state registries -- can request access for a search.
That seems like an awful lot of people looking at the most personal aspect of someone's life.
Citing the confidential nature of the registry, Harris would not say how many men had signed up by Friday afternoon. She said, though, that the most positive responses have come from men. She also said that about 35 other states have similar laws.
At the barbershop, Terence Scott, 40, sat in the waiting area. He didn't join in the exchange but laughed during most of it.
When asked why he didn't speak up, Scott smiled, "Oh, I'm married. Those days are over for me." Scott has been married nine years and has three children. "I'm not hanging out there like that."
As the back-and-forth wound down, Williams concluded about the law, "It's probably got its goods and its bads."
This time, as with most times, I agree with Dyon.
Shanna Flowers' column appears Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays.
