Courtesy of Mik Collins

Mik Collins (right) is hoping to secure a monkey to serve as the ring bearer in his upcoming wedding to Brandy Reynolds.

Mik Collins wanted a pet monkey. His fiancee did not. But marriage requires some compromising, and so the two reached an agreement.

The details of that agreement can be found in an unusual ad from the classified section of this newspaper:

"MONKEY WANTED

"Need Monkey to rent to be ring bearer at my wedding. Must not eat guests. Diaper pref. Not a joke... $ neg."

"This is a serious thing," confirmed Collins, 40, an otherwise unserious Roanoker who runs a home health service. Get a ring-bearing monkey for the wedding, and he would drop the pet talk.

"I never thought in a million years that he'd find one. That's why I agreed," said Brandy Reynolds, 30, the fiancee.

So Reynolds said she was startled to read the tiny classified that appeared in Thursday's paper, searching for a matrimonial monkey. Diaper preferred.

The ad will run for two weeks, which should leave the primate time to rehearse before the May 23 wedding. Incidentally, the ceremony will not be held in a church.

Collins hopes to pay about $100 for the rental. He is flexible about the particulars.

He would be fine with an orangutan or spider monkey, but would really like to find a Capuchin monkey. ("Like the little monkey from 'Raiders of the Lost Ark,' " he said.)

The monkey would ideally walk the aisle unassisted, perhaps wearing an attractive ribbon. But if a monkey handler must escort the ring bearer to the altar, so be it.

Was the diaper really a necessity? "Yes," said Dave Orndorff, director of the Mill Mountain Zoo, who has hand-raised small monkeys.

"Like infants, they have no control over their bowel movements," the zoo director said, adding that a tail-hole should be cut into the diaper.

An unexpected deposit on the bridal train is the sort of thing that might worry the mother of the bride. However, Reynolds said her mother was tickled by the prospect.

"You are marrying someone who would fit so perfectly in this family," Reynolds recalled her mother saying.

As of Friday noon, a half-dozen calls had come in to Collins' phone. Most callers were simply curious. Another woman made monkey noises into the phone. And one fellow offered to function as an underground monkey broker to help make a deal.

Primates may have fallen from public favor since a chimpanzee named Travis went on a heavily publicized rampage in Connecticut in February. Collins admitted that lingering concerns may add a wrinkle to finding a ring bearer, and prompted him to include the part about not eating the wedding guests.

"The people who actually have monkeys are living in fear," Collins said. "I would take a three-toed sloth."

Which is an indication that the groom can compromise, too. Reynolds' family suggested including a goat in the ceremony, perhaps to work as flower girl. Collins has considered how that might work with the monkey.

"I told her, if you can get a saddle for the goat. ..." he said.