Christina O'Connor | Roanoke Times

Erik Kahill joins friends at Cabo Fish Taco in Blacksburg for dinner. Kahill recently moved to Blacksburg from New York City and is adapting to a more limited social scene.

It’s ladies night for Krisha Chachra and six close friends and the topic tonight, like many a ladies night, is men.

Men with goatees -- yes or no? Blonds? Men with shaved heads?

Each woman seems to have distinct preferences.

But where to meet them? There’s the stumper. Because unlike the other women drinking margaritas at Cabo Fish Taco on this Thursday night, these seven no longer toast to finished finals or spring break plans.

They toast instead to “30s -- the new 20s!”

And now that that has become their rallying cry, these women say it’s hard to find a nightspot where young professionals like them can find friends and dates.

While the region is great for college kids and families, young professionals say there are few amenities for singles out of school.

And a lack of upscale dining options, social groups and cultural events doesn’t just make for unhappy yuppies. It can also hurt area businesses looking to recruit and retain young talent.

“People don’t pick a location because of the job anymore,” said 30-year-old Blacksburg resident Stuart Mease.

“They pick it because it’s the social thing to do, and I don’t know if baby boomers understand that yes, you have to have the jobs, but you also have to have an environment that’s going to attract people.”

‘Where everybody knows your name’

And what attracts young professionals?

A cohesive population of other active young professionals. Or, as Mease put it, a place “where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.”

“The lyrics to the [Cheers theme] song: in essence, that’s what people want and that’s why people move to Charlotte and Raleigh,” he explained. “They want to go where friends are.”

According to data from the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of people between the ages of 25 and 34 in Montgomery, Pulaski and Giles counties and the city of Radford fell by 557 between 1990 and 2000 -- from 21,149 in 1990 to 20,592 in 2000.

Mease, who is a special projects coordinator for Roanoke, has watched many single professionals follow the trend, chasing friends and dates to large metro areas, where people -- and the places to meet them -- are plentiful.

“I’ve been here as a student or professional for 12 years,” he said. “I’ve formed relationships with young people and each year, a half dozen friends or acquaintances leave.”

“After a while,” Mease added, “You ask yourself, ‘Should I leave?’ ”

Mease hasn’t.

But 29-year-old Franklin Yancey did.

After graduating from Virginia Tech, Yancey stayed in Blacksburg for a couple years to start a business with a friend.

The business -- College Comfort -- did well, but while his days were busy, Yancey’s nights always seemed to be the same. He’d been to each downtown bar “a hundred times” and was tired of his typical destination rotation: Top of the Stairs, Big Al’s, Boudreaux’s.

So, in 2003, for purely personal reasons, he moved to Charlotte, N.C.

“Once you are out of the university loop, then it was very difficult to find my personal niche, social scene or friends in general,” Yancey said. “People were moving away left and right and I just felt like I was missing out on something.”

In Charlotte, Yancey said, he has a wealth of activities to choose from: concerts, pro-sports games, fine dining and charity social events.

There’s so much, Yancey isn’t a regular anywhere.

“It’s bad when you’re a regular somewhere here,” he said. “You’ve got so many choices.”

‘Obnoxious frat guys’

In the New River Valley, most available options revolve around the area’s universities and their combined 35,500 students.

On weekends, however, Erik Kahill, a 28-year-old assistant director of development for Virginia Tech’s College of Science, tries to stay clear of the 18- to 22-year-olds he works alongside.

For a Friday or Saturday night out, Kahill will usually head to Roanoke.

“I don’t feel like making my way through a herd of cattle, especially at some of the bars around here,” Kahill said. “And I don’t feel like being around obnoxious frat guys.”

“I was there once and I loved it,” he said in a nod to his days at James Madison University. “But I’m just not there anymore.”

Among some employers, however, Tech’s very presence can leave the impression that there’s plenty for the young and socially active.

Christina O'Connor | Roanoke Times

Krisha Chachra (far right) toasts with her friends at Cabo Fish Taco. The women try to get together for a girl’s night out at least a few times a month.

Joe Meredith, president of the Virginia Tech Corporate Research Center, said he can’t think of any prospective tenants who have asked him about amenities for young professionals.

“I think because of the university, there’s just that presumption that there are things for young people,” Meredith said.

Webmail.us chief executive officer Pat Matthews believes that’s an assumption businesspeople shouldn’t make.

“One of the things I think business leaders in general forget about, or don’t have the ability to relate to a lot of times, is the fact that when you want to bring people to a certain area, you can’t just look out for what they do at work,” Matthews said.

And like Kahill, a lot of young professionals are no longer interested in the activities and hangouts they preferred while in college.

“One of the challenges you find in the New River Valley is that because it’s such a college-based atmosphere and the college dominates such a large part of the population, you find most of the community institutions like bars, restaurants and clubs catering to the college students,” Matthews said.

“It was awesome when I was in college, but what happens is you have a really fragmented young professional society.”

‘Getting out’

Mease and Matthews have both tried to do something about it.

Last summer, Matthews revived the New River Nucleus, a group Mease helped start. Renamed the New River Network, it invited young professionals out to mingle and mix once a month. The gatherings attracted anywhere from 40 to 70 people -- a disappointment for Matthews.

“It just wasn’t the big impact we’d hoped,” he said, noting that he is rethinking the network’s strategy.

For 28-year-old Matthews, social fragmentation causes frustration not just as a young professional, but as a company head looking to recruit.

“We’ve got this huge university right next door but unfortunately the first thing most people think about when they graduate from the university is getting out of Blacksburg because they don’t feel the jobs are here, they don’t feel the social opportunities are here and, at the end of the day, a lot of people leave Blacksburg -- and I’ve heard a dozen people say this -- a lot of people leave Blacksburg to go find a wife or husband,” Matthews said.

Alec Siegel is director of operations for the Blacksburg office of MBA Management Inc., an executive search firm.

Siegel said 90 percent of the people he talks to think the New River Valley is a very desirable place to be. The other 10 percent are likely to be young and single.

“If they have a family and they know the area, it’s a slam-dunk,” Siegel said of his recruitment efforts. “Singles who aren’t familiar with the area, it’s not going to happen. In fact, I don’t even recruit them.”

Tech graduates are different, Siegel noted, because they know the area’s charms.

And both Siegel and Matthews said they have better luck recruiting Virginia Tech alumni who are married and have families.

Even Yancey said he wouldn’t rule a return to Blacksburg out entirely.

“After 40, 50 years, who knows?” he said.

‘Put your signal out there’

But when it comes to the dating scene, Yancey, who has a girlfriend, is happy to be in Charlotte.

“I was a single guy,” he said of his days in Blacksburg, “and where do you go to find single women other than the bars, and you’re in there with 18-, 19-, 20-, 21-year-olds and you’re 24.”

Yancey trailed off before adding, “It wasn’t exactly what I was looking for.”

Matthews, who says he is probably more outgoing than the average guy, agrees the scene is far from ideal.

He’s dating someone now, but the Blacksburg resident met her online.

And that’s the thing with dating in less urban areas, said Chachra, who writes a column for The Roanoke Times’ Inside Out section: “You really have to use your imagination to make things work for you.”

Chachra said she meets new friends and date prospects at a variety of places: fundraising and political events, YMCA classes and homeowners association meetings.

“The dating scene is not as obvious,” the 30-year-old explained. “You don’t go out to a place where there are a bunch of people looking for the same thing you are -- that’s rare here -- so you have to be more creative and kind of put your signal out there.”

On a recent girls’ night out, Chachra’s friend, Latanya Walker, asks the group if they think an over-25 night at a downtown bar would do well.

“I had a conversation with a manager and he said it wouldn’t make any money,” Walker added.

This elicits a strong response.

“I think it would,” one woman says.

“I think it’s a great idea,” another adds.

Why not, Chachra adds: “We’ve got money, we can hang and we can get up in the morning and work.”

And with that, the women clink their glasses in a toast.

Dating tips

Meeting that special someone in a small town isn’t as random as playing Russian roulette; you gotta take initiative to increase your chances. Here are a few local hot tips on where to go and play your game:

1. Building or hardware stores: People wander through in a daze without any idea of what they are looking for. Make it be you. Or ask the hot sales associate where you can get nailed, I mean nails.

2. Banks or post office: Any place with a line is a welcome ground for one-liners. If they flop, you only have to wait until you’re up in front, then try a new one on the cute teller.

3. Bookstores: Ask for a recommendation or share an opinion about one you’ve read. Then split a scone at the bookstore’s coffee shop.

4. YMCA Open University classes: Learn something you’ve always wanted to: Make soap, throw a pot or paint on a canvas. Then talk to your classmate about why the two of you waited so long to sign up.

5. Grocery store: Especially the beverage section — people are there because they’re ready to party. Or walk the aisles — so much produce, lots of product and everything comes in a nice package. Enough said.

Men ... with children

A 2004 survey of employees at the Virginia Tech Corporate Research Center found that of 425 responders:

60.7% were male, 39.3 percent were female

53.6% were 34 years old and younger

46.2% have children

Local blogs

connectingpeople.typepad.com: A blog by Stuart Mease connecting professionals and professional opportunities in the New River and Roanoke valleys

myspace.com/krishachachra: A blog on dating and relationships by Krisha Chachra