If someone is in an abusive relationship, whether it be physically or emotionally abusive, there are many ways of escaping the abuse through the legal process.

In abusive relationships, the abuser commonly uses the children to try to keep the abused party in the home and/or under control. The abuser threatens to take the children from the other parent.

If the abused person has a custody and support order through the court, it is harder for the abuser to maintain control.

One of the factors that a court looks at when determining custody is whether there has been a history of family abuse. Other factors include the age and mental condition of the child and the parents; the relationship between each parent and the child; the needs of the child; the willingness of each parent to actively support the child's contact with the other parent; alcohol or drug abuse/use; and criminal convictions.

When deciding custody of children, the preference of the child can be a factor.

Children younger than 7 are not generally asked where they want to live. Children who are between 7 and 13 are sometimes asked what they want, and their preference is given weight.

For children 14 or older, they must be asked what they want, and their preference may be given great weight.

If a guardian ad litem is involved in the case, he or she would usually be the one that speaks with the children. The guardian ad litem is an attorney for the children who is appointed by the court. You may ask the judge to appoint a guardian ad litem for your children at the custody pretrial hearing.

There are various programs available to people who are in need of support, whether it be emotional, financial or legal support. These programs may be helpful: the Department of Social Services; Women's Resource Center; Agency on Aging; and Southwest Virginia Legal Aid Society.

Susan Richardson is an attorney at the Southwest Virginia Legal Aid Society. Contact: www.svlas.org of (888) 2012772