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Grab your philosophical hammers and carpenter's pants. From May 22 to May 25, Radford University will host an international conference titled "Building a New World" organized by the World Prout Assembly.

Prout is the world's worst acronym, standing for PROgressive UTilization Theory, which, according to its Web site, worldproutassembly.org, is some sort of theory about progressive utilization. It's also about "nuclear revolution," which is not defined, and there are more references to the "collective" than a Star Trek episode about the BURG (sorry, I meant 'Borg.' Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.)

This looks to be a very entertaining conference, potentially worth the $350 that it costs to register. The organizer, Garda Ghista, set the tone for the proceedings with this quote: "A society may be described as the collection of numerous parallel psychic waves which originate due to the psychic tendency of moving together in unison."

That is so radical, in a tubular sort of way, don't you think? As I read it, I had the urge to sit cross-legged on the floor, dilated pupils in my incense-reddened eyes, chanting a mantra to sitar music. Ghista's qualifications for leading this assembly seem to be mainly that she is a freelance journalist based in Kentucky who lived in the Middle East for a couple of years. Go figure.

The WPA Web site is enlightening regarding the philosophy of the Prout movement. It's full of interesting commentary provided by Prout members or supporters. For example, Mary Rizzo laments that after some recent elections in Italy, "There are no more Communists in the Parliament. Socialists are gone too." That certainly sets the tone for Prout. Here are some other quotes. See whether they sound as familiar to you as they do to me.

"There will be rational distribution of land and redetermination of ownership. Once the minimum requirements have been guaranteed, the surplus wealth is to be distributed among those people having special qualities and skills such as physicians, engineers and scientists, because these people play an important role in the collective development of society."

Take that, you wealthy landowners. Since I am a scientist, it looks as if I'll be making out pretty well in the new world order. However, I keep getting the feeling that I have heard this before, possibly in a 1965 movie starring Omar Sharif and Julie Christie, based on a Russian novel about the October Revolution. Nah, I guess I just dreamed that part.

Here's another Prout jewel:

"In PROUT's collective economic system, full employment will be maintained by progressively reducing working hours..."

Let me see if I understand this correctly. If we have 10 people, and only three of them are working, but they are working eight hours per day, then we can take those 24 hours of necessary work and spread them out over 10 people. So, each person will work only 2.4 hours per day. I could go for that, as long as I still get paid for eight hours of work. I sure hope it is possible to build cars and airplanes in 2.4-hour tasks. I guess I'll have to give up my barbecue, though, because it takes at least 12 hours to cook that.

Recalling how hardworking and dedicated my fellow minimum-wage employees at Scottie's Hamburgers were when I was in high school, I am having some trouble figuring out what sort of system will make this work. But Ghista has that all figured out, too. To achieve success all we need is "morality, strong supervision, and the wholehearted acceptance of the masses." Well, the strong supervision part is certainly going to be necessary.

I'm not really a capitalistic ogre. It's wonderful thing to contemplate all the mistakes made by society in the past and to imagine, and even apply, one's effort to making significant changes for the perceived good of mankind. And who can argue that we don't want anymore war or poverty or disease? But surrendering to the collective has never worked because what drives human accomplishment is individuality and competition. If you don't believe me, just look at the recently ended 70-year experiment in socialism in the former Soviet Union. Of course, Prout proponents will argue that it failed because of the power-hungry leaders, not because it was a failed system. Well, wake up Susie! There will always be people like that around, and one of them with a stick in his hand can take out a whole lot of pacifists.

But go to Radford and participate in this conference anyway, because one of the speakers will be Cindy Sheehan, and if anybody in this world needs a hug, it's her.

Michael Miller is a freelance writer who lives in Montgomery County.