www.roanoke.com

Like many people, this is my favorite time of year.

I'd like to tell you it's because this is the time when we draw closer to our families; when we pause in life's hustle and bustle to take stock of our situation and remember those things that are really important in life; a time to realize how blessed we are and a time to spread some happiness to those around us.

Yes, I'd like to tell you that, but it's really about the gifts. To me.

The end of December is like the greatest possible time of the year. You get a bunch of holidays off from work, and then people give you all sorts of cool stuff. Since my birthday is also in December, I get a double portion! How great is that?

But let us not forget all the serious stuff that I mentioned in the first paragraph, because we don't want our wives, who just happen to be looking over our shoulders as we write our columns, to keep smacking us on the side of the head and telling us how selfish we are.

So in the true spirit of Christmas, I plan to give some gifts to some very important people in the New River Valley who have provided me with so much enjoyment over the past year, as well as topics for my columns.

>>To Blacksburg's South Main project developers, I am giving the book "Bait and Switch: The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream" by Barbara Ehrenreich (which I picked up at my local Wal-Mart in not-Blacksburg). I have not read this book, but I'm sure you could take a few pointers from it for your next big project.

>>To the Blacksburg United for Responsible Growth (BURG) group: "The Market System: What It Is, How It Works and What to Make of It" by Charles E. Lindblom, because boy do you really need to read this book. I was also going to get you a few pairs of rose-colored glasses, but apparently you have already depleted the entire East Coast stock of those.

>>To Blacksburg Town Council: A Decision-a-Day calendar for 2008 from DecideBetter (decidebetter.rtrk.com) with daily tips on how to make better decisions, such as ones where you don't change your mind immediately afterward or hire engineers to review traffic studies and then let citizens groups insult their professionalism.

>>For Christiansburg Town Council: Noise canceling headphones they can wear during town council meetings so they won't be distracted by resident input on important town issues. And especially for Councilman Ernie Wade: a subscription to "Revolutionary War Re-enacting" complete with powdered wig and Ben Franklin glasses. By the way, Mr. Wade, I have it on good authority that in addition to not having a noise ordinance 200 years ago, they also didn't have indoor toilets. Perhaps we could do without those as well.

>>To Montgomery County, which jacked up my property assessment just ahead of the housing bust: Well, I'm not getting you a special gift this year because thanks to your selfless work, I'll be providing a little something extra in your property tax stocking for many years to come.

Just so the dozen or so readers of my columns won't think I am a total Grinch, I also want to give some untainted praise to the local group that has made my past few months most enjoyable.

Thanks to Frank Beamer and the entire coaching staff and players of the Hokie football team for another memorable and entertaining season to feed my substantial football habit. Just think, Frank, if WVU can almost make it to the championship game with only two players, how long could it possibly be before VT gets there again with a whole team?

On a related note, I would like to thank the ACC officiating crew of the contest a couple of weeks ago for the compassion they showed toward the Miami team by awarding them one touchdown and numerous unsupportable calls on the field. Hokie Nation is saddened by the recent demise of that once-mighty program and fully supports your efforts to make the Miami team look as if it might be able to beat Pulaski High School on a good day.

So, to Frank and the coaching staff and players, my gift is a copy of a book I am writing that chronicles the rise of the Hokies under his guidance, ending with a whole chapter describing their exemplary performance in their upcoming bowl game. Of course, to properly record these events I will need free tickets, plane fare and living expenses during the week of the game. I'll call you next week to arrange the details.

Merry Christmas!

Michael Miller is a freelance writer living in Montgomery County.