Cornershot

Once I thought I’d write “The Lazy Woman’s Guide to Entertaining,” but being a lazy woman, I never got around to it.

If I ever do, Chapter 1 would deal with the guest list. If you’re having two successive parties, don’t divide your guest list into A-L and M-Z, or into close friends and we-owe-them acquaintances.

Rather, divide your list into short people and tall people.

This is because of every hostess’ deadliest enemy — that four-letter word: DUST.

With short people, you have to dust only up to eye level. Tall guests can not only spot the dust on your picture frames but also on your table and floor lamp light bulbs. And tall males can easily peer down the cleavages of short ladies.

It might help to pray for a humid and cloudy day to help keep the dust down. But if it’s sunny, all you can do is imply that all those trillions of sparkling dust motes dancing so merrily in the air are special effects created for you by a professional party planner.

Guests of all heights will be awed by this extravaganza.

And that’s the long and short of it.

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