You've probably been in Beth McLemore's shoes: On your lunch hour, buying a poinsettia at Wal-Mart, with someone waiting for you back at the office and limited time for waiting in line.

You try to be patient; really, you do.

For 15 minutes, you creep ever so slowly toward the cashier until finally you're close enough to spot the handwritten sign: "If you have flowers, I'm severely allergic. Please go to another line."

The Rev. McLemore wanted to rend the air with a few choice words -- phrases that people who go by the titles "ordained minister" and "licensed professional counselor" don't typically say in public.

But the pastoral counselor limited herself to mumbling under her breath, then followed her own holiday advice. She took a deep breath and remembered that the patient waiting at the office would understand if she was five minutes late. The world wouldn't end.

In this high-stress time of holiday commitments and the quest for that perfect shiny new thing, it's easier to lose your perspective than your shopping list.

"Somehow we degenerate or de-evolve into the animal kingdom, like we're fighting for that last carcass in the Sahara," McLemore says. "When, in actuality, Target's going to have another sale sometime; they have one every week."

How do you stave off your own Shopzilla?

We consulted area shoppers and retailers -- and threw in a few of our own pet peeves -- to come up with five strategies for taming the shopping beast in you.

1. Shop only when you're in the mood. Take along a bottle of water and, for efficiency, a snack. Unless they're truly helpful, don't take immediate relatives, especially if your spouse likes to calculate the number of work hours it took to pay for an item or what the same gift would've cost in 1986.

If you're never in the mood, there's this new thing called the Internet. Or, you can now find gift cards for everything from Ruby Tuesday's to iTunes at stores even Scrooge can't avoid -- Kroger and Walgreens. Pick up some extra Advil while you're there.

2. "Spot Saved!" is valid only among the 7-and-under set. That means: No cutting in line or offering space to a long-lost friend who happens to show up; if you have to relive your glory days together, go to the back of the line.

Likewise, penalty points are assessed for pulling an offensive end-around: If you've just joined the line at checkout No. 5 -- only to have checkout No. 6 suddenly open up -- resist the urge to leap over the National Enquirers and Hershey bars; others were waiting before you.

3. Be mindful of personal space. Whether you're in the store aisle, the checkout line or the parking lot, remember what those cart-crashing Best Buy shoppers forgot on Black Friday: basic manners (not to mention their "WWJD" bracelets).

If you're lingering over a blouse in a crowded aisle and sense that the shopper next to you is ready to move on, get out of the way, then go home and do the following cross-stitch: "It's not all about me."

4. To reduce in-store time, have your strategy mapped. Do your research and comparison shop online before you go.

Introverts, know thyself: If you're the type who shops at out-of-the-way Food Lions to avoid running into people you know, be stealthy and take advantage of early-morning and extended store hours. (Wal-Mart is actually fairly calm at 3 a.m.)

Finish earlier than expected? Treat yourself to a movie, but remember to have cash on hand; it's a major etiquette breach to use a slow-to-process debit card when the line's a mile long. (And while you're there: cellphones off, no talking once the first preview begins and never, ever sit near a gaggle of teens.)

5. Gratitude is grace. Remember that your behavior affects others, including strangers. And it's the kindness of giving -- not the price tag, not even everything you went through to nab the last sale-item cashmere -- that counts.

Cashiers note: "There you go," offered in an I'm-so-over-you-and-this-job tone, does not a thank you make.

Customers note: 20 whacks with a frozen fruitcake if you delay the transaction by talking on your cellphone at the register; 30 if it's the walkie-talkie type.

Cashiers and customers both note: A sincere thank you, eye contact and all, never hurt anybody.

P.S. If you knocked over a whole stack of Gap sweaters, trot on back there and pick them up -- even if you don't know the trademarked 10-step fold. Just do your best.

Sources: Pastoral counselor the Rev. Beth McLemore; Roanoke retail clerk Karen Beasley; etiquette expert Elaine Swann (elaineswann.com); and your friendly, hunkered-down-for-the-holidays Extra staff.