It's mailbag time. Several readers responded to our recent rant about those helium-filled birthday balloons that never die. A few suggested using them as ornaments on other birthday gifts -- an ingenious way of passing the problem along to someone else.

Poor Judith Sclafani of Christiansburg recently received four balloons as going- away gifts -- ironic, she notes, because they refuse to go away. She managed to unload one with a shower gift. Her college-age son made a cat toy by tying the other three to some little balls, but the cat broke the toy. Two weeks later, Sclafani reports, "They're still floating around the house. But I haven't the heart to pop them."

According to reader Jayne Vest of Roanoke, there's a gentler way: "Just cut it near the bottom, just above where the air goes in, push out the remaining helium, and throw it away," she says. "You don't have to pop it."

Other readers had their own rants. Laurie Spangler of Blue Ridge wonders why, in the age of technological marvels, fax machines still make awful noises. "We have Muzak for elevators, music on telephones when you are put on hold, an amazing array of ringtones, and nature noises for sleeping at night on our white noise machines. Wouldn't it be nice to hear the sounds of crickets, birds or whales when you are FAXing?" Spangler e-mailed.

And reader Theda Mundy had a timely rant about her weed eater. Try as she might, she can't remove the worn-out old string so she can replace it with a new one.

"I'm a 77-year-old widow and it should be easier to handle. Three men couldn't get it, either. It doesn't work very well. So, grrrrrrrr."

--Kevin Kittredge

Can you think of something that really ought to work better? Let us know. Kevin.kittredge@roanoke.com; 981-3323.