There is only one time in your life that you will be exactly half the age of your parent -- when you reach the age that they were when they had you. That year, your parent is double your age and possibly can be compared as such. Does this difference in age mean they are twice as intelligent? Twice as experienced? Or have they accomplished twice as much as you have?

Southwest Socialite DISH What are you willing to settle for? What had your parents accomplished at your age? What have you accomplished that they had not? E-mail Krisha.

Maybe that's not a good way to measure. After all, at 30, my dad had his PhD, a good university job, lived in a country different from the one where he was born, was married and had his hands full with a new baby: me. I have arrived at that age without accomplishing any of those things. Instead, I have traveled the world, had dozens of jobs, lived in a few countries, never settled for just one long-term relationship and have my hands full with deciding what to do or where to go next. The opportunities and options are endless. At my age, my dad was settled. And now that he is double my age, he's wondering when I will settle down.

It is not that those of us my age don't know what we want. We're just not sure where we'll find it or if it even exists. When you live in a world where dreams are big and possibilities are endless, I can't help but wonder, does being halfway to finding what you're looking for mean double the confusion?

So I decided to bury my question in the only place big enough to answer it: New York City.

Start spreading (not settling) the news

A few friends, including Bob Settlage and Rachel DePompa joined me on my weekend of escape as we observed how the freshly turned thirtysomethings of the city pulsed their way down this new decade of discovery, not settling for anything. Not even sleep.

Bob observed that the young professionals in New York never stop moving. There is this energy in the streets that continues all day and all night. It is like New Yorkers are constantly searching for something, whether it be a big career break, a great deal on an apartment, reservations to the hottest restaurant or a score with their dream date.

We hit the streets like we belonged there. We moved from one section of the city to another -- taking pictures in the Meatpacking District, eating lunch in SoHo, sipping champagne and grabbing sushi on the East Side around Park Avenue and 20^th. On Fifth Avenue, we watched as the young and trendy sashayed down the sidewalk wearing their Eskimo-esque boots or Uggs over jeans or with skirts (where's the igloo, baby?). Then we popped into high-end fashion stores to play guess-how-much-that-costs in the designer label section. When you're unsettled on just how much you're willing to spend on a new purse or a fabulous pair of shoes, it is always fail-safe to settle for a good laugh at the price tag.

"Sex and the City": The tour

But the real highlight was when we boarded the bus for the "Sex and the City" tour. What better way to gauge how to live your 30s than by consulting the most famous thirtysomething women of all: Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte. On this uncensored excursion through the cast's favorite hangouts, our very funny tour guide Lisa Blythe Perlman threw out some trivia questions that travel companion Rachel answered easily.

We learned about the editing slip-up in the introduction: Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) gets sprayed by a bus loaded with people, but when she turns to react in the next shot, the passengers are missing. We discovered that actresses Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Cattrall didn't get along off the show; that Carrie's boyfriend Aidan Shaw (played by John Corbett) was supposed to be played by Aidan Quinn; that Chris Noth, who played Mr. Big, owns a cigar bar called the Cutting Room; and that Willie Garson, who played Stanford, is not gay. While eating the "Sex and the City" girls' favorite cupcakes at Magnolia bakery, I thought about how Carrie's addiction to chasing that "butterfly" feeling in her relationships kept her from settling for anyone but Mr. Big, even if he wasn't good for her. Her life was an endless whirlwind of A-list parties, cosmopolitans and good stories. Like every other New Yorker she was still full speed ahead, not settling down but constantly looking for an anchor in her life.

Later I sat down by myself at the Bubble Lounge on an oversized marshmallow chair with a glass of Dom Perignon and wrote a Top 10 list of things I was looking to find. At 30, you have to double-check your desires to make sure you accomplish your goals more than just halfway. Even though the world has changed and the choices are different from when my parents were my age, what Carrie Bradshaw said is still true: "Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies."

Krisha Chachra taught communications at Hawaii Pacific University while writing for the Honolulu Advertiser and has worked as a talk-show host and reporter for public television and radio. Using the backdrop of Southwest Virginia's social scene, her twice-monthly column explores insights on dating, relationships and other issues faced by young professionals.

Visit her blog and relationship columns at myspace.com/krishachachra.