.....Advertisement.....
.....Advertisement.....
Thursday, March 02, 2006

Bridal guide

Etiquette, party ideas and resources you’ll need to get through most any wedding

KNOW YOUR PLACE

If everyone in your supporting cast knows what's expected of them, it will help avoid any confusion or arguments. Diane Warner's "Contemporary Guide to Wedding Etiquette" ($13.99, New Page Books) helps break down the duties.Back in the day, if a Dutch girl's papa gave thumbs down to her choice of spouse, he certainly wasn't going to pop for a dowry. So, sympathetic friends would "shower" the wannabe bride with necessities, enabling her to tie the knot and set up house.

Thus was born the tradition of bestowing prewedding gifts.

The current run-up to wedlock usually includes several showers, according to Rosanna McCollough, editor in chief of Weddingchannel.com. There might be a casual get-together with co-workers, a more formal one for close friends, relatives and about-to-be relatives, still another for couples only.

If you're in the position of hosting (or expecting) a shower soon, here are some guidelines to follow.

Mother of the bride

  • Hosts or co-hosts engagement party

  • Helps bride shop for gown and attendants' attire

  • Purchases her dress first so she can let the groom's mother know what she'll be wearing to the wedding

  • Stays in touch with groom's parents, so they won't be left out of the loop

  • Helps address wedding invitations and keeps track of wedding gifts

  • Helps bride get dressed before the wedding

  • During the reception, she dances with the groom

    Father of the bride

  • Hosts or co-hosts engagement party and pays for all or part of wedding expenses

  • Provides emotional support to daughter and wife

  • Drives daughter to the ceremony site and walks her down the aisle

  • Sits next to bride's mother in first pew

  • Offers a toast during the reception

  • During the reception, dances with daughter

    Groom's parents

  • Groom's father may help plan/attend bachelor party

  • Help pay for some ceremony expenses, such as corsages, boutonnieres and bride's bouquet

  • Rent or purchase their wedding attire

  • Plan, co-host and pay for the rehearsal dinner

  • Escort their son down the aisle, if it's a Jewish ceremony

  • During the reception, the groom's mother dances with her son, and the groom's father dances with the bride

    Maid or matron of honor

  • Helps bride in any way she can by running errands, addressing invitations, etc.

  • Helps bride shop for her gown, accessories and bridesmaids' attire and arranges a final fitting for bridesmaids' gowns

  • Plans and hosts bridal shower; shops for a joint wedding gift with bridesmaids

  • Helps bride dress before ceremony, holds bridal bouquet during ceremony, adjusts bride's veil and train after she walks down the aisle

  • Keeps the groom's ring until ceremony, signs the wedding certificate

  • Dances with best man during reception

    Best man

  • Makes arrangements for the groomsmen to get measured for their tuxes

  • Picks up men's attire and transports it to where they will dress for wedding

  • Plans and organizes bachelor party

  • Responsible for delivering marriage license to the officiant before the ceremony and for keeping the bride's ring safe until the ceremony

  • Helps the groom and groomsmen dress

  • Delivers the fee to the officiant following ceremony

  • Drives bride and groom to reception

  • Dances with the bride, her mother, the maid of honor and every bridesmaid during the reception

  • Makes a toast or serves as master of ceremonies for reception

    — Knight Ridder/Tribune

    BRIDAL SHOWER ETIQUETTE

    Who hosts?

    Tradition forbids anyone in the couple's immediate family from doing the honors. Gift-giving may be the understood purpose for gathering, but you don't want to appear self-serving. Yet even Emily Post says there are exceptions, such as when the bride is from another country and knows no one. The maid/matron of honor is expected to host at least one shower, maybe together with one or more of the bridesmaids.

    What if this isn't her first marriage?

    Yes, she still gets a shower.

    When do we throw one?

    Anywhere from six months to a month before The Day.

    What's a couples shower?

    It's a party that includes the groom, not usually very formal. Gifts are rarely opened at these "Jack and Jill" affairs because the guys get bored. Which also means the theme better be all-inclusive: Think cocktails, sports bars, that sort of thing.

    What are the rules on gifts?

    If you're a member of the wedding party, it's not necessary to bring a gift to each shower, Rosanna McCollough, editor in chief of Weddingchannel.com, says. If you're not, you should. "There is no set dollar amount for any gift, shower or wedding," she advises. "It's a token of your well wishes, and therefore can be a handmade item, which makes it more special."

    That's some comfort to those who might rebel at buying multiple shower gifts in addition to the wedding present. WeddingMagazine.com feels their pain. In fact, the experts there say only one premarital cadeau is necessary, no matter how many shindigs you attend. Just make sure to mail it early so the guest of honor knows you've fulfilled your obligation.

    Do we have to play games?

    Know your bride-to-be. Will she tolerate being decked out in toilet paper, or having intimate personal details revealed to one and all? Also, make sure these activities don't take away from the socializing.

    What's expected of the bride?

    She needs to be gracious, above all. And it's customary for the bride or couple to give a thank-you gift to the hosts.

    Any time-savers or last-minute suggestions?

    Assign someone to take pictures, as that is an often overlooked detail.

    — Knight Ridder/Tribune

    • jobs.roanoke.com| homes.roanoke.com| cars.roanoke.com
    .....Advertisement.....