Sony Pictures International

John Cusack plays Jackson Curtis, a writer and dad, in "2012."

If you like to see a lot of real estate destroyed, then "2012" is the movie for you.

If you're looking for a convincing storyline free of cliches, you might look elsewhere.

Director and co-writer Roland Emmerich gleefully destroys the world in this ultimate disaster movie, taking down everything from the Vatican to the Washington Monument.

Meanwhile, the world's citizenry congregates under such iconic structures in order to be crushed under the tumbling masonry for the edification of popcorn-munching audiences. No doubt, this sets a movie record in the body count department.

Chiwetel Ejiofor plays Adrian Helmsley, a government scientist hot on the trail of signs pointing toward the end of the world. It seems that ancient Mayans, Hopi Indians and sign-carrying crackpots were way ahead of modern science when it comes to the end times.

Eruptions on the sun are heating up the Earth's core, and the crust is about to shift. Helmsley informs Anheuser, a presidential adviser, of the doomsday scenario. Played by Oliver Platt, Anheuser goes into full-swing villain mode and orchestrates a plan to build arks in order to save the world's elite. A billion bucks buys you a boarding pass and free Bahama Mamas on the Lido deck.

Of course, there has to be a human element. John Cusack plays Jackson Curtis, a science-fiction writer and limo driver for a Russian billionaire. Amanda Peet plays his ex-wife and mother to his two children. Tom McCarthy plays Gordon, her current squeeze.

Jackson goes to Yellowstone National Park to camp with his kids and finds some strange goings-on. His old camping site has been restricted and there are soldiers all over the place. Charlie, a conspiracy buff played by Woody Harrelson, clues him into the ark operation.

Meanwhile, Gordon and Kate are receiving first-hand knowledge of the apocalypse back in California. In one of the movie's dumbest scenes, they're standing in a supermarket and Kate is telling Gordon there's something pulling them apart. No sooner are the words out of her mouth than a giant fissure opens up between the couple in the store's floor. A metaphor that wouldn't get through screenwriting 101.

From that point forward, the movie becomes a beat-the-clock exercise in catastrophe escape. Jackson and his family literally outrun earthquakes, firestorms and tsunamis as they seek out the life-saving arks.

Emmerich and script collaborator Harald Kloser veer toward the maudlin as they try to find a poignancy amid the chaos. George Segal plays an old jazzman trying to patch up a relationship with his son. Blu Mankuma plays his musical partner who looks down the face of a tidal wave and tells his wife he's coming to join her.

Furthermore, the filmmakers paint a bleak portrait of world leadership. Only the U.S. president, played by Danny Glover, and the Italian head of state elect to stay behind with their millions of doomed constituents. Even a geriatric Queen Elizabeth dodders on board with her two pooches. This doesn't enhance the movie's one-world preachiness.