Most agrarian collectivist revolutionaries -- Robin Hood, Emiliano Zapata, even Thomas Jefferson -- never had to swing a broadsword in ersatz Tolkienville. But they were generally against the existing power structure. And their narratives were relatively easy to follow -- at least compared with "In the Name of the King."

At two-plus hours, it doesn't seem that long, considering it drops you into its medieval maelstrom with not as much as an opening credit. But imagine what it would have been like if they'd actually told us what was going on?

Director Uwe Boll ("BloodRayne") has made a small career out of adapting video games to the big screen.

While the commercial logic behind this is obvious -- name recognition, existing audience -- the films are made, especially Boll's latest, only for the people who know the story line and care.

It may seem sacrilegious to say it, but why not stay home and watch "King" on your computer? The resolution will be better, and the viewer will likely have an inkling of the plotline already. For the unacquainted (who are obviously not the target audience for this thing), it's like being introduced to "The Sopranos" by watching the last episode.