Thursday, October 11, 2007
Finally, a book on entertaining that's actually entertaining
Larry Bly
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For those with what we call here in the South "delicate sensibilities," you may wish to avoid this book: "I Like You ... Hospitality Under the Influence," by Amy Sedaris.
But if you're not offended by the occasional profanity, you just might enjoy it, even if it takes someone from the '60s to get all the drug-related humor, which is sprinkled throughout. I had it explained to me, not to worry.
Amy Sedaris is a comedian, having appeared on Comedy Central ("Strangers With Candy") and has co-written an Obie-award winning stage play.
Being a "how to entertain" type of book, it has countless legitimate recipes for any occasion. While some are done for laughs, they are real: Captain's Mouthwatering Bite-Size Cheeseballs and Spread on a Ritz, for instance. Some of the recipes sound like things we fed to friends in the early '70s, before we all became terribly sophisticated and started preparing foods no one could pronounce.
Her "hints" run the gamut: "Try filling your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosy partygoer more successfully than an avalanche of marbles striking a porcelain sink." How about this one: "Give the party a strict time span and if it's not going well, at least you know when it will be over." I've had a few of those kinds of parties myself.
Amy plays it strictly for laughs in both text and accompanying photos, which are a scream. Many of Amy's parties are themed around ways for the author to make money off her friends, such as setting up a card table of junk she wishes to get rid of. "I have three simple rules for shoppers: (1) It has to be a quarter; can't be three nickels and a dime or two dimes and a nickel. They are not worth the money they are worth. (2) You breakey, you boughty. (3) You boughty, you takey. The point is get the stuff out of my house."
She has chapters to cover entertaining under the most arcane circumstances:
RICH UNCLE COMES TO VISIT (simple touches you can do that will make even the most jaded rich uncle think twice about your inheritance)
THE LUMBERJACK LUNCH (most lumberjacks like their whole meal on one plate or in a single bowl---always have a clear path to the table ...)
I'M OLD (recipes for three gin-soaked raisins for arthritis)
FEEDING GYPSIES (includes a recipe for "pickpocket's stew")
There's a chapter on gift-giving (though Amy's book is more about receiving): "Money can make a nice gift, but once you start sending family members checks for their birthdays, you'll have to do it for the rest of your life because they will be looking for it for the rest of their lives. It's like feeding a dog from the table."
One chapter on things to do with old pantyhose includes filling them with beans and attaching eyes for "a soothing eye compress for tired eyes."
Another usage is the "bath sachet," filled with fresh herbs, parsley, sage, rosemary. "Tie securely over your bath spigot and fill the tub with a soothing infusion." As with many of her suggestions, it all sounds much better than it looks, believe me. The chapter on crafts is a scream, done with photos of hokey home-made items attached to unlikely articles found around the house.
Amy's hints about handling "Out of Town Guests" ring true: "Never, under any circumstances, leave a guest alone in your apartment, especially if you have something to hide. They will find it because they are looking for it. Always act interested in their small-town stories even if you aren't. Don't assume that your stories are any more interesting than theirs."
This book came out last year and someone gave it to me as a gift. It's a not a real sit-down and read type of book -- more of a casual coffee-table book. But it's good for a laugh every time I pick it up. Here are a few recipes included:
SOUTHERN FRIED CHICKEN
Chicken parts, legs and thighs
Buttermilk
Salt, pepper
Flour (add 2 T. cornstarch to it for a more crispy chicken)
Lard
Soak chicken in buttermilk seasoned with salt, pepper, and paprika overnight. Dredge the chicken pieces in flour, shaking off excess. Place chicken skin side down into heated lard in skillet. Don't overcrowd the pan. Fry in batches. Cook about 10 minutes per side. Bake in oven for about 30-40 minutes at 350 degrees.
AUNT JOYCE'S BROWNIES
4 eggs, beaten until fluffy
1 cup sugar
1 cup flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1-12 oz. package chocolate chips
2 tsp. vanilla extract
Melt together chips and butter. Beat eggs and add in everything else.
Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes. Optional: Press pecans on top, down into dough.
The next time you're going to invite people over, remember: "...not everyone is interested in hospitality. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a hospitable person and have groups of people in your home touching your personables."
So there.
I Like You: "Hospitality Under the Influence"
Amy Sedaris
Warner Books
Hachette Book Group USA
New York, N.Y.
Bly for now!
