Thursday, May 10, 2007
Home school kids learn socialization
Linda Whitlock
Recent columns
From the RoundTable blog
If you frequent Famous Anthony's in Salem at lunchtime, you've probably seen them -- a young mom with two elementary-school-aged children and occasionally a grandma or friend in tow.
They stand out -- in part because the little girl is a pretty, brown-eyed blonde. And because, on any given day, the young boy may be dressed -- in surprisingly authentic-looking costumes he's pulled together, for the most part, from whatever happened to be lying around the house -- as Daniel Boone, a Civil War general, a pirate, or any number of other interesting characters.
Another reason they stand out, though, is because, from September to June, at least, they're likely to be the only school-age kids in the restaurant. These are my grandchildren, and, as you may have guessed, they're home schooled. Given the increasing popularity of home schooling, however, it's less and less likely that they'll continue to have the restaurant to themselves on school days.
If not exactly mainstream, home schooling has definitely come out of the closet. First-generation home schoolers -- those whose parents were in the vanguard of the home schooling movement -- are beginning to turn up everywhere.
One home school alumnus, for example, is a member of the Campbell County Board of Supervisors. Another is on the faculty of William and Mary. And droves of home-schooled students can be found on the nation's college campuses, including Virginia Tech, where a home-schooled student sadly was among the victims on April 16.
Home schooling has many benefits, including the flexible scheduling that allows me to enjoy weekly lunches with my grandchildren, so it's no wonder more and more parents are opting to make the sacrifices necessary to home school their children. But one significant benefit to home schooling, and one of the reasons many parents make the choice, may surprise you. It's the socialization.
Yes, I do mean socialization. Far from being a drawback to home schooling, as the myth would have it, socialization is actually one of home schooling's greatest virtues.
Like their public school counterparts, home school students have plenty of opportunities to mingle with their peers. They belong to organizations like Boy Scouts and 4-H. They participate in sports. And many are involved in church youth activities and volunteer work.
But unlike public school students, who spend the greater part of each day almost exclusively in the company of people their own age, home school students, whose days are often spent in the company of people of various ages, are less likely to depend on their peers for validation of their choices and values.
They're less likely, too, to feel the need to conform to popular clothing styles and other youthful fads. And they're way less likely to have to deal with the bullying and teasing that characterize much of playground and classroom interaction between kids.
Which isn't to say that home school kids don't have to learn how to get along. They do. But since home school families are often larger than the norm, home school kids generally have plenty of opportunities to learn skills of negotiation and compromise within the family context. And those who don't come from large families have other venues for acquiring those skills, such as the activities I mentioned.
Home school students also aren't as prone as public school students, steeped as they are in self-esteem rhetoric, to think the world revolves around them. For many home school families, being a one-income family in a two-income world requires real sacrifice, not to mention hard work. And home school kids quickly learn they have to share in both.
That may mean no cable television or no television at all and homemade pizza instead of takeout from Pizza Hut. Or it may mean helping Mom and Dad in the family business or watching younger siblings while Mom helps older ones with their school work. Whatever forms their contributions take, these home school kids know the family's welfare depends on them as well as their parents.
Given all the socialization benefits home schooling has to offer, the next time you talk to someone whose kids go to public school, you may want to ask the question posed on a bumper sticker I used to have.
"Public schools? Aren't you worried about socialization?"
Whitlock, a Roanoke Times columnist, is an adjunct English professor who lives in Salem.
