Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Don't let medication replace parenting
From the RoundTable blog
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Karen Rice
Rice, the mother of two children, lives in the Roanoke area and is a probation officer with the Department of Juvenile Justice.
Does it really take a village to raise a child or just two good parents? Have we as parents let society take our place and doctors take our role for discipline? Have we just given up the responsibility to raise our children as we see fit, and let a society of well-meaning yet naive professionals make our decisions for us? What's happening to our kids?
As I look at our society today and especially our school systems, I question just who is in charge. It appears that more and more children are more focused on what a teacher or counselor tells them than the guidance of their own mother and father. In years past, this was a joint effort.
Children with personality and will are identified as being different and often uncontrollable, then given a diagnosis of attention deficit disorder and medication to keep them calm. It seems much easier for school authorities today to identify disorders in children than to correct behavior.
Sure, it is easier to medicate children than to talk to them. Yes, it is easier to teach a child who has no ability to express his or her feelings and thoughts for or against statements being made by educators. It is then simple to indoctrinate them to a philosophy or mind-set that reaches a sought-after conclusion, usually that of the educator.
Is that what we want as parents? Do we want to just leave the minds of our children in the hands of the outside world?
Parents need to take a much more active role in the education of our children. More and more it seems that informed parents are removing their children from public school and doing it themselves at home or, when possible, in a private venue. Is that the answer, or should we be looking to change what is going on in the public schools and demand a better education for our children?
Are we too busy to involve ourselves in the lives our children, even to the point that we stand by and let them be diagnosed and medicated to ensure conformity? Have we forgotten that our role as parents is primary educator and protector?
Some children are, indeed, out of control and need assistance from medication and counseling. However, a disproportionate number are given a diagnosis than truly need one.
We do need professionals involved with our children, but we don't need them setting disciplinary modalities. This is the job of the parents. Social intervention has reduced the ability of parents to discipline their children to the point that parents are looked at as the problem not the solution in these situations.
Parents are no longer allowed corporal actions that were used so effectively in the past decades. Children often do not respect authority and are told they do not have to listen or comply to the will of parents or authority figures of any kind. This causes the acting-out behavior that proliferates throughout schools today, and thus the eventual use of medications to change the behavior.
For the situation in schools to change, we need less outside intervention and diagnosis and more parental control and responsibility.
Unfortunately, a small percentage of incapable and abusive parents have become the focal view of parental discipline, and thus the reason for so much intervention by social programs in the family. This is not the norm, but the exception.
Most parents in America are loving and caring and would apply discipline in a productive and correct manner, given the opportunity to do so. They would encourage their children's creativity and motivation instead of suppressing it for the sake of calm conformity.
Parents can correct the behaviors of their children much more effectively than medications. It does not take a village to raise a child. It only takes a society that has caring, focused parents with the ability to discipline their children as they see appropriate.
Let's go back to self-discipline, self-worth and personal responsibility within our families. Let's help children grow, not medicate them into compliance and apathy. Let's take back our children's futures from medication and return it to parenthood.
