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The quest for forgiveness and the inability to bestow it are among the most common issues raised by parishioners of the Rev. George Anderson, pastor of Second Presbyterian Church in Roanoke.

"It might be over something with a family member, a business associate or even the church," Anderson said.

So he invited an expert on forgiveness, Gregory Jones, dean of Duke University's Divinity School, to speak on the subject in March. Jones also met with The Roanoke Times. Here's an excerpt from that conversation.

The Roanoke Times: How serious an issue in modern society is forgiveness compared with addiction, failure and fear -- just to name a few other widespread concerns?

Jones: Forgiveness isn't unrelated to those other issues. When we become fearful we tend to become embittered, tend to close in around ourselves and build up barricades against others. We make the brokenness worse and we need to be engaged in more forgiveness practices. Forgiveness tends to increase our capacity for love and thus reduces the ways in which we act out of fear.

TRT: Is forgiveness different when it's requested of one person rather than several?

Jones: The more people that are involved the more complicated it will be. It's challenging enough when you have one person and you have all the history just between the two people. When more are involved you have more interpretations of the situation.

TRT: When bestowing forgiveness, is it common to secretly harbor some ill will, and what can one do about that?

Jones: Forgiveness is not simply a transaction. When I forgive someone, I'm also committing myself to a process that involves words, but also emotions, actions and gestures that will be offered. So it's likely that when we say things to each other, there will be all sorts of other emotions, including some measure of ill will.

TRT: How is it possible for the family or friends of someone murdered to forgive? For example, in the case of those grieving after the shootings at Virginia Tech in April 2007?

Jones: It's perfectly OK for them not to want to do so in the short term. We need to honor peoples' grief, their anger, the devastation that they feel that a loved one was unjustly killed. We should not press people the way we sometimes do immediately after a tragedy, with, 'Well, have you forgiven them?' That's an unfair burden to put on people.

TRT: How can we be sure when receiving an apology that it is sincere?

Jones: I wish we had a magic potion, like a pregnancy test that would turn a certain color if the person wasn't sincere. The only thing we really have is whether the person changes as a result of it.