Thursday, October 01, 2009
Stepping Stones: Shared grief segues to support
Five years ago, two moms created a support group for children who have lost a parent or guardian.
JARED SOARES The Roanoke Times
Megan Mallare (from left), Sarah Mallare and Abby White have been on both sides of the Stepping Stones program, now participating as trained mentors.
Click the button above to see all of our community coverage, or go straight to your community's homepage with the menu below.
More community health stories
- Retirees are young in song
- Blood drive relies on team support
- Rocky Mount Lifestyle Health Center focuses on heart health
- Dozens of walkers brave the cold
- American Heart AssociationHealthy as a walk in the park
Archive
Carolyn White and Jennifer Mallare have known each other a long time. The pair first met as volunteers at their daughters' school, Cave Spring Elementary in Roanoke County. But similar tragedies also brought these moms together. In 1999, within a month, each of their husbands died.
Doing their best to rise from daily heartbreak, White and Mallare also struggled to raise their four daughters.
"When Carolyn and I met each other, we realized that our children had experienced a unique loss," Mallare said.
Their friendship sparked an idea: form a group where kids with similar issues can help one another. And Stepping Stones was born.
Stepping Stones is a support group for children who have lost a parent or guardian. The program, which began in 2004, involves adult volunteers but is primarily supported by children, ages 14 and older. The mission of the group is a simple one: remembering with less pain each step of the way.
Monthly meetings are held at St. John Lutheran Church and are free. A light meal is offered. The program is merely a support group and is not meant to replace counseling.
Before Stepping Stones began, White and Mallare searched across the Roanoke Valley for something similar. Mallare found grief camps for her two daughters to attend, but nothing ongoing.
White added, "There weren't many resources. We didn't really want therapy. We just wanted our kids to meet other kids going through the same thing."
As the idea for the program grew, White and Mallare consulted local experts such as hospice workers, pediatricians, guidance counselors and social workers.
Over the years, White and Mallare handed over the group's administrative reins to Good Samaritan Hospice and are now just ordinary volunteers. But their daughters seamlessly stepped into their footsteps.
Three of the four girls have participated on both sides of the program. Sarah Mallare, 17; Megan Mallare, 15; and Abby White, 14, once benefited from the older children and are now trained mentors helping the younger ones. Emma White is 13 and will train to become a mentor next year.
"I think that the cool thing is that everybody at Stepping Stones are different ages and you can connect really well with everyone," Sarah Mallare said.
More recently, Jennifer Mallare and Carolyn White have begun a parent and guardian meeting for adults. These meetings sometimes just involve food and fellowship but have included an educational speaker from time to time.
