Thursday, October 23, 2008
Mothers organize walk to remember lost children
The Out of Darkness Walk supported the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
Photos by JESSICA MARCY The Roanoke Times
Renae Martin (left) and Kathy Painter wore T-shirts with photos of the children they lost to suicide during the Out of the Darkness Walk.
Four mothers who lost children to suicide organized the Out of the Darkness Walk in Wasena Park on Saturday. The event raised $3,086 for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.
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Connie Miller and Renae Martin stood in Wasena Park, under dark clouds and amid fallen golden and maroon leaves, and talked about their greatest fear.
"There's this fear of our loved ones being the forgotten souls," Miller said.
The two Roanoke women both lost their sons to suicide and wore necklaces with their sons' fingerprints stamped in gold and silver, reminders they take wherever they go.
On Saturday, they joined with two other mothers -- Denise Hancock and Kathy Painter -- to organize the first Out of the Darkness Walk in Roanoke to increase awareness about suicide and raise money for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Thirty-five people attended the event, which raised $3,086.
The foundation estimates that one person attempts suicide every minute and one person dies by suicide every 16 minutes in the United States. Suicide claims more than 32,000 lives each year, with close to 1 million people attempting suicide annually, according to the foundation.
The mothers organized the walk to share their stories and feelings as well as remember their four children: Anthony Parrott, Kevin Miller, Angela Powell and Buck Hancock.
Martin described the shock of losing her son Anthony Parrott, 21, who hanged himself after a night of drinking.
"It's one thing to see your son in a morgue, it's another thing to have to cut him down," Martin said.
Eighteen months after his death, she said she has a type of post-traumatic stress disorder and still has nightmares.
Miller described the discomfort and guilt surrounding suicide.
"I feel that suicide is a whispered word," she said.
She said people didn't know how to approach her after her son Kevin committed suicide by shooting himself in the head on April 5, 2007, four days before his 23rd birthday. He had been drinking and got into a fight with a girl he had started dating three weeks earlier, she said.
Miller said his suicide was a total shock. She described him as funny, jovial and seemingly happy. He had almost completed four years in the U.S. Navy in Norfolk and was planning to return to Roanoke.
Miller said she felt especially guilty because she once worked as a nurse in the emergency room, where she dealt with people who had committed suicide.
"I felt really guilt-laden I didn't pick up on it," she said. "If somebody threatens suicide -- I don't care if they have a smile on their face or they're in tears -- don't leave them."
Family members and loved ones also remembered the lives of Powell, 32, and Hancock, 15. Powell was a writer who loved nature and art, while Hancock was a student at Pulaski County High School.
Several attendees said the walk was part of their long healing process, and they wanted to save another person from the anguish of losing a child or loved one to suicide.
"There's no timetable," Miller said. "We're still just trying to put one foot in front of the other."
