Friday, June 19, 2009
Taking the long view on graduation advice
This tome figures into Emily's advice to graduates. —Emily Paine Carter, special to So Salem
Emily Paine Carter is columnist So Salem. You can contact her at 981-3430 or via e-mail.
Emily Paine Carter
Recent columns from Salem, Glenvar and western Roanoke County
"Oh, if only I'd known then...." Slipping the bonds of Salem can make thoughts wander thus.
Graduation is all about roads away, eh? So please indulge some chat about -- gasp -- non-Salemites. And stick around for universal advice.
On a recent misty weekend I met up with four friends not seen since our Mary Baldwin College "daze" long ago.
Yet I felt at home. Despite our diverse paths -- like, they're still married to their college boyfriends! -- we seemed quintuplets of different mothers. Beth Francis Griffith, Lucy Valentine Dierks, Elizabeth Toms Chaplin and Christy Michell Lubeley: all reared fine kids; all still think critically, question insightfully, work, laugh, opine, keep current (technology, even!), act nobly....
Some of us painfully recalled our then-naivete. I'll leave it at that -- and trust you're more worldly. (Innocent times, then: buses dropped us at boys' schools to fend for ourselves. Imagine!)
We critiqued our education and choices. We tallied -- thanks to Time's long, spiraling view -- experiences we had but meanings we missed (credit poet T. S. Eliot).
Now, advice from Auntie Em's continuing list:
Go away. Pack humility and humor. Learn from other cultures -- and represent America well.
Come home! We need you.
Got degree; no more thinking required? Ha. Ask questions, even a simple "oh really?" (Check the book "Teaching as a Subversive Activity.") You'll need smarts in choosing friends, partners, public officials....
Like that ol' country sayin', Be Particular.
Be ruled neither by fear nor fun. (We pause; remember; and wince.)
Be tough, logical, yet kind. Develop head and heart (as my friends have, bless their hearts).
Accept (decent) invitations. Play well with others -- but don't be total "social tofu." Keep integrity; "you represent your whole family" (a buzz-kill, but true).
Think several moves ahead, as in chess. You don't want to hear your lawyer echoing Charlie Phillips' line: "nothing good happens after midnight."
Learn to DO stuff: mending, household repairs....One of the savviest guys I know is a carpenter: he's multi-skilled; he reads, questions (OK, he rants well, too). He'll endure.
A project too big? Start with the next right thing, even if it's small: like, make your bed.
Be grateful. As Beth reminded me, start by "noticing."
Step outside! Hear actual birds twittering. Take care of Mama Earth.
Brace for "Future Shock," as (ironically) a decades-old book reminds.
Learn, in Eliot's words, "to care and not to care." Aim for serenity, acceptance, courage and wisdom. And good luck with all that.
May you keep good friends -- and be one. Like the ones I'm blessed to know, may you also make the world a bit better. And remember the Shakespearean line: "Which can say more than this rich praise -- that you alone are you?" So, hey, you have that workin' for ya.
Now, have at it! And a tip of my timeworn mortarboard to you.
