LEXINGTON - A day before, Gen. Richard Myers was with the troops in Baghdad. Saturday, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff stepped to the lectern at Virginia Military Institute. With a creak, he adjusted the microphone upward to accommodate his considerable height. Four stars gleamed from each of his shoulders. Ribbons covered the left breast of his blue Air Force uniform.

"I think I can say with a good degree of certainty that you will deploy somewhere in the world in this war on terrorism," he said a few minutes into a graduation speech he predicted no one would remember. "You'll endure separation from your family, no doubt. And undoubtedly, you'll come in harm's way at some point. Sacrifice is part of your job description." In the front row, six seats to Myers' left, sat a compact cadet from Roanoke with pale blue eyes, flawless grades and a day-old commission as a second lieutenant in the U.S. Army. Myers wasn't telling him anything he didn't know.

A day earlier, as he marched in his last parade as a cadet, Rich Connaroe envisioned his own death in combat.

The parade commemorated the Civil War battle at New Market, in which 261 VMI cadets joined and 10 died. Amid perfect quiet except for the wind in the flags, the dead cadets' names were called and trumpeters played taps.

Around him, Connaroe saw classmates in tears. He imagined his own name being called, and how his new fiancee and his mother would take it.

Sometimes, alone on long distance runs, Connaroe imagines writing to the parents of soldiers who died.

Soldiers have always considered their own mortality. But for years before Sept. 11, 2001, cadets like Connaroe - and the 92 others out of his class of 235 who commissioned into the service - weren't likely to see combat. Now, as Myers said, it's almost a guarantee. In the post-9/11 world, he said, everyone should serve, in or out of uniform.

Connaroe never imagined he'd serve in uniform. But he sought in VMI, and is seeking again in the Army, what his upbringing by a busy, single mom hadn't given him - the secure feeling of family and the company of men.

He's met his father twice, he said. He grew up in a house dominated by women: his mother, recent Republican city council candidate Wendy Jones, and his sister Amanda. Even the pets were almost all females, Jones said.

Wendy Jones brought the children to Roanoke from Rochester, N.Y., when Connaroe was 6. Connaroe said he had little supervision growing up, but he was a natural achiever. He was valedictorian of his class at Northside High School.

He was considering Princeton University and the University of Virginia. But while visiting Washington and Lee University in Lexington, he saw a cadet jog by. Curious, he went to the VMI admissions office and picked up an application.

His sophomore year, Connaroe decided to commission in the Army and seek a noncombat job. After 9/11, he nearly dropped out of school to enlist, but decided to stay in school and commission into a combat role. He recently learned that, after more training, he'll be sent to South Korea.

Last month, at the finish line of the Boston Marathon, Connaroe's commitment became more complicated.

Connaroe, four other cadets and an ROTC instructor marched the marathon in battle fatigues and combat boots, laden with 40-pound backpacks, to honor VMI graduates involved in the war.

His girlfriend, Devin Kennedy, met him at the finish. Shaky from dehydration, Connaroe pulled a ring from his fatigue pants, popped the question and was carried off to the medical tent to be rehydrated.

They'll be married in August. Kennedy will follow him to South Korea but will have to live alone off base. "I think it's a very honorable thing he's doing," she said.

"It was really kind of hard to imagine what the point of doing anything else would be," Connaroe explained Friday.

But he's not itching to go to Iraq. The United States doesn't have a solid plan there, he said, and while they figure one out, people are dying.

"And if those were my men, I'd have to be writing to their parents." They would want to know their child died for something worthwhile, he said. "I don't think I could convincingly make that argument."

Nothing Myers said Saturday changed his mind. The chairman doled out the requisite advice for going out into the world:

"Always be the best at whatever it is you are asked to do."

"Surround yourself with good people ... the company you keep matters."

"Be a leader."

Connaroe received the First Jackson-Hope medal, for having the highest grade point average in his class - a perfect 4.0. It came with a $2,000 check, enough to pay off Kennedy's engagement ring.

The class of 2004 was dismissed. Amid the confusion of parents finding their graduates, a professor, Col. Francis Bush, tugged at Connaroe's sleeve and looked him in the eyes.

"Stay low, all right?" Bush said.

Connaroe shook his hand. "I will, sir," he said.