Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Grrr...toothpaste
Kevin Kittredge
Grrr! is an occasional rant about things that don't work very well.
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I am not a connoisseur of toothpaste. But I used to be loyal to my brand. I bought it for years, because it was cheap, worked OK and came in great big tubes. And things would have been fine between the toothpaste company and me, for as long as I use toothpaste, if only it hadn't fallen victim to that American obsession with the new and improved.
Now, there's a lot to be said for improvement. If it wasn't for improvement, we would all be riding horses to work this winter, and heading to the outhouse on frigid winter dawns. But the evil sister of improvement is tinkering. And my toothpaste maker has tinkered until I'm at my wits' end.
When I go looking for my old standard now, I face an infinite variety of new specialized pastes, all bearing the familiar name, but modified for "whitening," "brightening," "tightening," "enlightening" or whatever the heck it is great toothpastes are supposed to do. There is no hint which of these exotic offerings is the original stuff in disguise.
In despair, I plucked one at random last time -- and ended up with some purple goop that tastes like soda pop.
Sorry, old friends, but after all these years, I'm switching to Crest.
-- Kevin Kittredge
Can you think of something that really ought to work better? Let us know. Kevin.kittredge@roanoke.com; 981-3323.
