Waiting for the caravan

While in line at a large, local department store, I was looking over the cashiers' work area. There was the obligatory list of codes to call out should there be trouble. Codes for fires. Codes for lost children. Codes for when a bird gets caught in the cigarette display. But there was one code number I never expected to see. It was the alert code for "Gypsies."

That took me back a few decades.

I recall how every so often Gypsy hysteria would make parents drag their kids into the house. If Gypsies were rumored to be in the neighborhood, they were there to snatch us children. Conversely, one of the things told to kids to make us behave was the threat to sell us to the Gypsies. Naturally, we were conflicted.

When I had the late shift at a convenience store, I received a midnight phone call warning me to be on the lookout for Gypsies. Hmmm. That directive was never quite clear to me. I didn't receive the first shred of information to aid me in my diligence. What did they look like? What did they drive? Would one of them try to overpower me and forcibly read my palms?

I would have felt very silly calling the Sheriff's dispatcher saying, "I think there's Gypsies down here! Y'all come quick!" Besides, if Gypsies were as street-smart as their reputation maintains, they certainly wouldn't draw attention to themselves. They would merely arrive dressed like the normal blue collars, do their heist, then exit under the "thank you, come again."

Gypsies, according to proper terminology, are a race. To put their name on a watch list should be racial profiling if not outright discrimination. Substitute the word 'Gypsy' with 'Blacks' and see how the dynamic changes. Or 'Indian,' for that matter.

Again, what's the stereotypical criteria for spotting a Gypsy? A caravan full of people with scarves on their head, reeking of patchouli and tapping a tambourine. That'd fit the profile. That could just as easily be the local Theater Guild out on a jaunt. Things like this would make citizen's arrests a lot more fun.

Maybe I'm naive. Perhaps there ARE wagonloads of Gypsies out there ready to separate me from the hard-earned. If that's the case shouldn't we be getting some form of notice from our officials? Will Gypsies be the next social menace-du-jour ? When will airlines start kicking off passengers for looking like a Gypsy?

Sooner or later one would have to meet a Gypsy. The 2000 U.S. Census listed about 1 million such people. An Internet search brought about info on several groups and sub-groups of Gypsy in almost every civilized land. They are definitely out there! Coming soon to a checkout line near you!