When the haggle is worth the hassle

With the Annual Hillsville Flea Market in town, it's time once again to summon my haggling abilities.

At one time haggling was an accepted social practice. The custom seems uncouth nowadays. Haggling remains almost an uncomfortable admission of poverty — much akin to finding a bargain at the thrift shop but hating to admit you actually go to the thrift shop.

Even car dealers tout "no haggle prices" in their commericals. See? No one wants to deal with it .

In some countries merchants consider it a personal affront if you DON'T haggle. Where did we go wrong ? Haggling is a great equalizer. The rule of thumb states that the best deal is reached when both parties feel equally shafted.

I recall many times where I could have saved some money had I only built up the nerve to haggle properly. The times I have haggled were generally for the sake of haggling. Thus I often ended up with a great price on an item I didn't need all that much. When I found an item I desperately wanted, I wouldn't think of tainting the moment by quibbling over price.

But it's in my blood . I come from a long line of hagglers. My grandfather is a merciless haggler . I've watched him get down to brass tacks with men who looked as though their pockets hadn't seen silver in months. But when the deal was done the amount of money those guys were saving on their wardrobe suddenly became obvious. From their tattered overalls they produced a wad of greenbacks capable of choking a mule. Good hagglers know you can't judge others by appearance .

The worst question to receive from a seller is "What will you give me for it?" Does a blank stare count? Give me some idea where to start!

Imagine showing up on the new car lot and trying to find a price and the salesperson says "What'll ya give me for it?" No good can come of this ... you'll either highball or lowball every time .

I recently placed an ad to sell an old vehicle . This gave me a chance to deal with a variety of haggling styles .

The dumbest question I encountered remains "What's the least you will take?" As if I would tip my hand that quick . I respond, "Just peel off some bills till I say 'when'!"

It is better for a prospective buyer to ask "Would you take this amount?" That leaves the ball in your court . If you are smart you have already overpriced the goods to compensate for haggling . If they don't haggle you can always downsize the price and seem like a real nice guy.

The prospective buyer I most disliked was an old dude who obviously didn't like the price I gave him. So did he haggle ? Not exactly. He shrugged his shoulders, kicked around a little dirt and stared off in the distance like he was having trouble with his corneas . What kind of maneuver was THAT ? I'd like to know how many times this strange series of gestures actually worked for him in the past.

After a minute of his silent grimacing I started to go back in the house. He then declared, "Well-l-l, maybe I'll get back in touch later." Hope he remembers to bring some Visine.

I eventually sold the vehicle to a gent who genuinely had a working knowledge of backwoods bargaining. And when he left we both felt as though we had been swindled.

Now that's what I call dealing!