Sunday, December 14, 2008
U.S. guys quick to say they are sexy
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Shanna Flowers is The Roanoke Times' metro columnist.
Shanna Flowers
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We live in perilous times.
Industries announce layoffs by the thousands every day. Last rites are being read for American automakers, and Christmas sales are on life support.
But as everything collapses around us, we can take comfort in one bright spot: America has some of the sexiest men in the world.
To hear them tell it.
A recent global marketing survey found that 57 percent of American men have the cahones to publicly proclaim themselves sexy. God bless America.
In polling nearly 5,000 men in 12 countries across the globe, market research firm Synovate found that U.S. men were among the most confident in the world in their magnetism.
At a time when girls are beset with self-esteem issues and talk-show diva Oprah Winfrey flogs herself for falling off the weight wagon again, American men trailed only their counterparts in Greece, Russia, South Africa and Brazil in terms of their self-rated sex appeal. In Greece, 81 percent of the guys thought they were hot.
Don't laugh. I'm reminded of something a male colleague in Florida used to say years ago: "It ain't bragging if you can back it up."
Anyone old enough to have survived disco remembers crooner Rod Stewart, in an apparent moment of insecurity, singing the question "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?"
Well, 30 years later, American men aren't searching for the answer. They know it.
"Yeah, I think I'm sexy," Rahman Muhammad of Roanoke said confidently on Thursday. The 34-year-old barber emphasized that sexy is "not just a look."
That jibed with another finding in the study: Only 15 percent of American men think their looks are "very important." That compares with 34 percent across the globe.
"It's how you conduct yourself," Muhammad said. "You can be the finest person in the world, but if you've got an ugly attitude, then you're ugly."
Sexiness is different things to different people. It's a style, a walk, a talk, a personality, a gentleness, intelligence, grooming.
Whatever it is, I felt compelled to check this out. So last week I interviewed men of all ages, walks of life and professions. Generally my findings broke down this way:
Three guys definitely said they are sexy, one proudly claimed he had "swagger" (same difference), and several others didn't at all consider themselves sexy -- but their mates did.
Without hesitating, Scott Terry-Cabbler of Roanoke told me to lump him in the 57 percent of self-proclaimed sexies, rather than the modest 43 percent.
"To me, sexiness is a state of mind -- that certain confidence," the 39-year-old loan officer said. "Sex appeal doesn't have anything to do with being pretty. It's an X-factor, it's an intangible."
From listening to Terry-Cabbler, it sounds as though female attention is a burden he has carried for along time.
"I would always hear, 'Your eyes are pretty.' " said the single man, who, indeed, is blessed with a catchy pair of light-brown peepers. "Then they started saying. 'You're sexy.' "
Who is Terry-Cabbler to argue?
"Everybody loves compliments, but that's not where my sense of self comes from," he added.
Roger Graham of Roanoke is a soft-spoken man who doesn't label himself sexy.
"I just don't look at myself that way," he said, almost shyly.
But his wife, Stephanie, who also was his high school sweetheart, surely does.
"Of course, absolutely," Stephanie said smiling at her husband of 33 years. "Inside and out, he's a wonderful person."
Put Bruce Stultz in the pool of modest men. Stultz, who works in social services and has been married 32 years, considers himself not sexy but "just a regular Joe."
Susan Stultz begged to differ. Among the number of traits that make her husband sexy, she said, are his "great legs." I took her word. He was wearing slacks.
Clutching his girlfriend's hand, 25-year-old Kevin Walker of Danville wondered about the survey's merit. It doesn't reflect the guys he hangs with. They don't profess to being sexy.
"We don't say, 'Man, how do I look?' "
Maybe Walker's friends don't, but men do talk to one another about grooming tips, according to 21-year-old makeup artist Cody Hoosier of Roanoke.
Hoosier, who takes pride in his grooming but doesn't consider himself sexy, makes his living teaching people to put their best face forward. Occasionally, men ask him for skin-care tips.
To 30-year-old Larry Jones of Roanoke, good grooming contributes to his je ne sais quoi that he refused to label as sexy.
"I don't think I'm sexy. I got swagger," the music producer said Thursday afternoon while he got his beard trimmed.
Because the word "swagger" was new to me as a slang, I asked Jones what he meant.
"Smooth."
Synovate spokeswoman Jennifer Chhatlani said the "I'm too sexy" survey had sparked conversations across the country. It allowed the research firm to take a break from weightier polls about the economy, the auto industry and others.
Despite the lighthearted theme, the poll's data will be available for the company's clients -- Johnson & Johnson, Samsung and Honda, to name a few -- to use perhaps to develop products for men.
Terry-Cabbler realized the taboo of admitting one's sex appeal.
Some people prefer to keep it a private matter.
"In the confines of your own home, you can be as sexy as you want," he said laughing.
