Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Metro columnist Dan Casey: Votes are tallied for Virginia's 'sloganeers'
Dan Casey is The Roanoke Times' metro columnist.
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Dan Casey
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Never let it be said that The Roanoke Times' readers are shy about having some fun at the expense of the Virginia Tourism Corp. and the Virginia Department of Transportation.
Thursday's column listed readers' suggestions to replace the slogan "Virginia is for Lovers," in light of the fact that VDOT is shutting down many of its highway bathrooms. And it solicited your votes for the best one.
The response was a smattering of votes -- plus a slew of additional suggestions.
Thank you all for playing along; this has been great fun!
Lest I earn an ignoble nickname such as Bathroom Dan, this column will be the last printed word on the subject (although you can still play along and add suggestions and comments on my blog).
First up was Ben Pearman, a financial adviser here in Roanoke. The best of his three ideas was "Virginia: You can't go 'till you leave."
Nice ring, Ben!
Weighing in next is former Timeslander Roger Bertholf, who now hails from Jacksonville, Fla. He suggested: "There is no 'p' in Virginia."
Actually, Roger, there's plenty of it but fewer places to put it, you know?
Kristina Schwarz of Willis suggests "Virginia's in Crisis, too!" That is apparent to almost everyone, except state lawmakers who have doggedly refused to raise the gasoline tax for more than 20 years.
Philip Worley of Covington suggests, "Welcome to VA, Reserve your porta-potty today."
Katy Hanson of Salem really liked a suggestion by Roanoker Fleda Ring: "Virginia Loves McDonalds." Katy evidently loves McDonald's, too though not necessarily for the food.
"I never stop at rest stops anymore because they are filthy," she writes. "I always stop at McDonalds because they are generally clean and you can get a big sweet tea for around a dollar."
Jackie Bledsoe suggests "VIRGINIA: The hold it state." And she adds: "I don't think legislators have thought about the [election] ramifications of this decision! But then do they ever?"
But the hands-down winner, both in the volume of votes and the number of entries he made, is John Johnson, a bricklayer who lives in Northwest Roanoke. He e-mailed a steady stream of ideas, beginning with "Welcome to Virginia: Urine a State for Lovers."
Ouch!
John also suggested: "Mountains to See, But Nowhere to Pee."
Another suggestion of his garnered the most votes: "Virginia: Pee Before You Come."
John, your "Virginia is for Lovers" T-shirt is on its way.
Contest No. 2
Liberty University yanked funding from its student Democratic club because it supports a national party platform that's in opposition, university administrators say, to almost everything that Liberty University stands for.
Some readers have suggested that, given this ham-handed action, the university change its name to just about anything but "Liberty."
So, readers, I'd like to hear your ideas. Let's rechristen that august institution with something more accurate, eh?
Call me or e-mail me your suggestions, or post them as comments on my blog. And explain why your idea is a good one -- bonus points will be awarded for humor.
The winner, chosen by me, will receive a hardcover copy of "The Big Book of Irony," by John Winokur, St. Martin's Press, 2007.
Be sure to include your address and contact information, which will NOT be printed, and your full name and locality, which will. The deadline is Monday, 12:01 a.m.
