Monday, December 27, 2010
Savor your last helping of Ben Beagle
Ben Beagle
The aging, semi-hysterical retired reporter rides shotgun with the greatest station wagon driver of them all down the rocky road of life. Mondays in the paper's Extra section, steady as she goes.
Recent columns
Now that it's all over -- the getting up at 5 a.m. to bag a treasure here and there; to get something for your old daddy, who has enough terry-cloth robes to last him a lifetime -- let's hope that you didn't get into an argument over whether the Christmas tree was leaning after it was decorated with lights and everything.
Not to mention the fact that CNN has discovered that some of these lights have amounts of lead that could be harmful to children.
Right. And I hope everybody in the Situation Room had a festive holiday.
My wishes for you
I'm sure that a study by experts in the field of matrimony would show that arguments over the orientation of this tree is among the major causes of divorce in this great nation of ours.
I once heard a female friend of mine complain that the community Christmas tree was leaning badly.
After all of these diligent people had labored to get it up and lighted.
I also hope that you didn't get a Lady Gaga CD.
And may all of your credit cards have cooled off by now. I know mine was pretty near meltdown by the 20th of the month.
And I hope you didn't miss the opportunity to watch "It's A Wonderful Life."
That flick is right up there with "Good King Wenceslas" as a Christmas symbol -- without Clarence the angel and Donna Reed.
Donna Reed. Now there was a girl you'd like to spend the holidays with.
I also hope you heard Elvis sing "Blue Christmas" at least once and, maybe, "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer," which doesn't exactly rate up there with "Silent Night."
I hope that you kept the spirit of Christmas despite the fact that somebody paid $87,000 for Lee Harvey Oswald's coffin.
That's a nice knickknack to put under the tree.
Speaking of lead lights, I was happy find that there hasn't been a massive recall of Christmas trees.
Farewell, readers
On the other hand, Yours Truly Here has been recalled -- sort of.
Which is to say that this is my last column after more than 50 years of writing about Christmas trees and the folly of the human race -- and the good parts, too.
I also spent about 40 years as a fairly good hard-news reporter.
It's tough to say goodbye to all of you who have read me and said nice things about my work.
As Bogey said so many years ago: "Here's looking at you, kid."
