Monday, January 17, 2005
That Geico lizard can really get around
Ben Beagle
The aging, semi-hysterical retired reporter rides shotgun with the greatest station wagon driver of them all down the rocky road of life. Mondays and Wednesdays, steady as she goes.
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You thought all geckos were good for was selling car insurance and making you want to scream - skittering about the way they do. And, well, just being lizards. I have long been a fan of that gecko who sells Geico car insurance, and I think he is just as cute as he can be.
Some of you ladies may suggest that the Geico lizard is a she, but I don't think so.
And I'll admit that lizards in general make me nervous and that, as a youth, I always felt a little sick when hooking a hellgrammite under its head for bass bait. I didn't cry out because my daddy would have called me a sissy.
Anyway, even if you choose to stay with State Farm, you gotta love that TV spot in which this lovable green lizard drives his little old sports car into the parking slot reserved for the main performer of the month.
I am in no way suggesting here that State Farm get its own lizard.
But this is not all about insurance and advertising. No, my friends, the gecko is about to come into its own and open a brave new world for those of us who care about sticking to things.
People are doing research on geckos because they have these funny hairs on their feet that allow them to walk on ceilings - whether they've had a drink or not.
I'll be frank here and admit I wouldn't want to see a lizard of any kind walking on my ceiling, but let that go.
Honest, folks. There are scientists at the University of California at Berkeley who are doing research on geckos' feet. Which probably won't do a lot about solving the Social Security problem, but science marches on.
According to New Science magazine, these people found out that the "adhesion [in your average gecko's feet] is in fact due to very weak intermolecular attractive forces called van der Waals forces."
Well. Let's just ask old van der Waals out for a beer and ask him to explain that one.
The scientists say development of the gecko adhesive could cause quarterbacks to fumble less. Quick: a whole case of gecko hairs to the Washington Redskins headquarters.
There is also the possibility of robots with gecko hair crawling all over spaceships. Maybe even some stuff you could put on your hands at Christmas to make money stick to them.
I would add here that not every thing about geckos is good. I understand, from the World Book, that they chirp, squeak and bark.
And I don't need that kind of stuff right now. Our dog Max also chirps and squeaks and barks. If I catch him leaving muddy paw prints on the ceiling, he's outta here.
